AboutPastor Kimberly Lemler Expertise As an ordained minister, life coach, and counselor, I can help you answer questions related to marriage based on the Bible. I have been through a divorce due to adultery and know the pain of losing a marriage and having to rebuild my life. I have been happily remarried for 16 years.
When you ask a question, please tell me if you are a Christian or not. The advice I give is based on the Bible and its truths. The promises in the Word are for believers. If we are trying to seek God's answers without a relationship with Him first, we will not see the results that we want. If you are not a born-again child of God, then I would enourage you to seek Him. When you receive Him into your life, then His promises are yours. I would be most happy to share the message of salvation with you if you do not know Jesus Christ as your savior.
Outside of AllExperts I can be reached at:
Walk By Faith Counseling Center
www.GodsHealingPower.org
Experience I have been happily married for 16 years. I do street ministry, phone ministry, e-mail ministry, in-office and home ministry and have ministered on a worldwide prayerline. I am a life coach as well.
Publications I have a Healing CD ready and other teachings available on our website. I also have a weekly radio teaching broadcast.
Education/Credentials I am a former school teacher, a graduate of Indiana University,1984. I have received biblical instruction at Victory Bible Institute and am currently working on a PhD .
Past/Present Clients I have ministered to many, many clients over a 15 year period.
Question Hello,
I am a Christian. I have been married for almost 13 years (my husband is also a Christian) and my husband & I were attending the same church up until almost 3 years ago when I left. My husband's first cousin is the pastor of the church and he (my husband) is more loyal to his cousin & church than he is to his own wife and children. He can’t see beyond the family ties. The church is pretty much being run like a cult. There is a lot of manipulation and control tactics going on there. The pastor tells the members if they leave that God will not be with them. I believed it while I was there, but God has not left me since I've been out of there. I specifically remember one Sunday when he turned to my husband and said, “ I don’t care who leaves you stay.” The pastor is pretty much the god of the people there, Jesus is no longer Lord there; no spiritual growth –just what can we do to take care of the leader. Most of the long time members have left as it got pretty bad. One couple that the pastor married ended in divorce as he wanted the young lady to take care of him & the church which caused her to neglect her own husband and children (The same thing goes on in my home.) He spends more time "doing" at the church than he does at home. He'll spend an entire Saturday "doing" church stuff, and then come home & won't help me out. Even when I ask it's like it's a burden. My husband has taken household bill money & given to the church/pastor. Some of the members have gone as far as taking money from their 401k or taking out loans at the bank to send him on trips to see the Dallas Cowboys or to Bermuda, and they can’t even take care of their own family. He loves to tell the people how honored they should be to serve him and acts as though he has personal assistants. He should get a job and stop stressing the people to take care of him. I have talked to my husband and told him how I feel. Of course he doesn't like to talk about it and always defends whatever the pastor says or does. The pastor even made inappropriate comments & gestures to me. I didn't mention to my husband b/c I knew he would defend him as he always does. I've shared w/my husband that I feel like he's having an affair w/his church/pastor and I'm tired of the church/pastor taking priority over our family. I've suggested counseling, but of course the pastor doesn't want his members talking to anyone other than him. (that's the insecure control freak in him) He has had 2 marriages to end in divorce so he can forget me talking to him. He treated me badly, talked badly to me, and ignored the fact that his demanding ways were causing problems in my home when I was in the church so no way will I discuss any of this with him now. I'm at my wits end.
Answer Hi Cassie,
This pastor sounds like he is walking in deception, under the control of a spirit of pride and control. I don't blame you for leaving that church. I'm sure it was the Lord's guidance that directed you out of there.
Is this a denominational church or is this pastor on his own with no higher board to answer to?
Your husband is under this man's spell right now and it will take the Lord to remove the veil and open his eyes to the truth. Do you have a church where you attend? If not, I would suggest finding one and then counseling with that pastor. The scripture in Matthew 18:15-18 comes to mind in your case. When we can't win over our brother, then we need to find someone to come back and talk to him. A pastor from another church that you are involved with is a suggestion. Or it can be a really strong Christian couple. Your husband needs to hear this from someone else other than you.
You really need to bathe this whole situation in prayer and your confession. Ask the Lord to deliver him from this cult and then believe you have received. From that point on, begin thanking the Lord for your husband's deliverance. "I thank you Lord that his eyes are opened to the truth and that he is delivered from this church and that these strong soul ties to this man are broken."
Your husband is definitely out of line, Cassie, and he is being led astray by satan's works, which are operating through this pastor. This is so sad. But just remember there is victory with our Lord and keep persevering in prayer...
Blessings,
Pastor Kim
GodsHealingPower.org
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Here are some scriptures for your to pray daily...
Jesus said:
MARK 11:23 NKJ
23 "For assuredly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, 'Be removed and be cast into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that those things he says will come to pass, he will have whatever he says."
Therefore, I say:
My _____ is a great help and blessing to me.
_____ is patient, kind, humble, smart, wise, pleasant, joyful, attractive, understanding, unselfish, faithful, honest, loyal, healthy, energetic, strong, accurate, dependable, a great _____, a great _____, and a great blessing to me.
_____ always walks and talks in faith and love.
_____ is growing in faith and in the knowledge of God's will.
_____ does me good and not evil all the days of _____ life.
_____ desires to do God's will.
_____ loves me, respects me, trusts me, and desires to please me.
