AboutDr Tim Gladu Expertise I will be willing to answer general questions on marriage. I will give the advice from the aspect of what the Bible has to say and the advice will be based on the Word of God. I do not give medical advice.
Experience Experience in the area: I have 12 Years in Ministry. I have also been happily married for 20 years and have raised 3 Children
Southern Baptist. Education/Credentials: Bachelor’s degree in Ministry, a Masters in Pastoral Counseling and a Doctorate in Theology.
Expert: Dr Tim Gladu Date: 6/25/2008 Subject: Marriage Separation
Question Last year in May I found excessive text message. I tracked them back to March and there were many of them. 7:00a.m. 11:00 p.m.all hours of the day and on every day of the week. Also phone calls to her work. I asked him if he was having an affair and he said no. He is a pastor and said she was having problems. Well he hired her to work in his office. He said nothing was going on. I needed to trust him. For a whole year I have been going through hell. I just can't seem to get past it. 2 weeks ago we had a big blow up and he said he was moving out. Said he is 54 and is not happy. Said he wants a divorce. Now he is saying he needs his space. I have been seeing a counselor. It is so hard because this also is killing the church he serves. I think he had an emotional affair. But he thinks he did nothing wrong. The woman is still working for him. We have been married for 31 years. Any advice. I feel like my life is crumbling.
Answer Debbie,
The question you have to ask is do I want to stay married or get divorced. Your husband has committed some major offenses against you and the church. He should at least step down from his position. He should also be willing to see what he can do to make it right. If you can forgive him then you need to let him know that and give him the chance to ask for your forgiveness. We are all human and we all have sinned. He has violated your trust and that will not be easy to overcome. The advice that I can give may be hard to take. He is the one who needs to make this right. If you can see your way to forgive him. You will both need a very good couples counselor if you are going to be able to get past this and have a life together. The Lord can forgive and forget we are not able to forget. O have heard of couples that have been able to forgive and be happy, but it has to be something you are both committed to doing. Seek the Lord and pray and He will give you the answer you seek. You have started by asking me what I may have for you so you are starting the process of forgiveness. Take some time and really look at the situation. Do not make any fast decisions and let the Lord show you what to do.
