AboutS. Kessler Expertise I can answer most any questions regarding a husband wife relationship. Whatever the question may be. I would like to help you find an answer to it. If you want an honest and unbiased opinion on things then ask away. I have been divorced with 3 children, a single mother, and I'm remarried. I know what it is like to have a spouse cheat on you, to be taken advantage of, to feel like everything is hopeless (being depressed), emotions (the up`s and down`s). I will try to answer anything you have on your mind about husband-wife relationships, divorce, adultery, etc. Please don`t hesitate to ask.
Expert: S. Kessler Date: 6/25/2008 Subject: looking at other women
Question I see my husband looking at other women but when i ask him he denies it? the denial hurts me more than his looking and it makes me not trust him. It makes me feel as though he is dishonest with me and it doesn't bother him to do so.What should I do? I don't like him looking but i don't like him lying about it even more.
Answer Hi Shauna~
It's normal for men to check out and look at other women. It's what a lot of men do. However, for him to lie about it is another. You can obviously see what he's doing and then for him to blatantly lie about it to your face is insulting your intelligence (you know what you see, when you witness it first hand). He needs to stop lying about it. He might be lying about it b/c he doesn't want to admit to it, b/c he's afraid it might hurt your feelings, make you jealous, etc.
You need to sit down with him and have a serious heart to heart talk with him. He needs to know exactly how this is affecting you. And what you're willing and unwilling to put up with in this marriage. Perhaps you can come up with some sort of compromise to work these differences out. If you don't mind that he looks at other women, then tell him so. Just tell him to be respectful about it to you. And that it's normal for a man to want to look at and check out other women, however, it's not okay to lie to you about it, and it's not okay to flirt, stare at them, etc, etc. Basically just put it all out there and discuss what bothers you about this, when he does it and then lies to you about it. Hopefully he'll be forthcoming more with you and see where you're coming from.
If this becomes a huge problem that you just can't cope with, then you'll have to decide what next to do about it. But that's a decision only you can make, and to do what's right for you.
