AboutS. Kessler Expertise I can answer most any questions regarding a husband wife relationship. Whatever the question may be. I would like to help you find an answer to it. If you want an honest and unbiased opinion on things then ask away. I have been divorced with 3 children, a single mother, and I'm remarried. I know what it is like to have a spouse cheat on you, to be taken advantage of, to feel like everything is hopeless (being depressed), emotions (the up`s and down`s). I will try to answer anything you have on your mind about husband-wife relationships, divorce, adultery, etc. Please don`t hesitate to ask.
Expert: S. Kessler Date: 6/21/2008 Subject: wife wants to leave
Question WE HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR 9 YRS. I HAVE 2 BOYS FIRST MARRIAGE AND 2 TO WIFE NOW. SHE TOLD ME LAST NITE ITS OVER.SHE HAS ASKED THAT I GET HELP BEFORE BUT BEING THE BIG MAN SAID I CAN DUE IT MY SELF. DID NOT WORK LAST MONDAY ENDED UP IN HOSPITAL CAN NOT DEAL WITH IT. I KNOW I HURT HER I NEED TO CHANGE SHE HAS ALWAYS BEEN MY ROCK NOW I HAVE NOTHING. SHE SAID GIVE IT TO THE END OF SUMMER TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS. I NEED TO MAKE HER MY WORLD AND HELP HER HEAL ALL THE PAIN I HAVE CAUSED. SHE ALWAYS SAID I AM NOT LOVING OR EMOTIONAL I HAD ROUGH CHILD HOOD SHOULD NOT LET THAT GET IN MY WAY. I JUST STARTED COUNCILING AND AM GOING FOR A PHYC EVAL AS MY ONE SON IS BI-POLAR AND I MIGHT BE TOO. I NEED HELP IN MAKING THIS WONDERFUL PERSON SEE THAT UNDER THIS HARD SURFACE IS THE LOVING PERSON SHE MARRIED .I CAN NOT DEAL WITH THIS LOSS SHE MEANS THE WORLD TO ME AND I SCREWED UP I CAN AND WILL PROVE TO HER THAT I AM THAT PERSON AGAIN. JUJST NEED ANSWERS AND POINTERS TO START THE NEW LIFE AND BE THE FATHER ,HUSBAND MY FAMILY DESERVES.
Answer Hi Bob~
Words might not mean that much to her right now. Instead you'll have to show her through your actions, b/c after all actions do speak louder than words. Tell her not to give up on you right now when you need her to most in your life. Tell her you're sorry and that you'll try support her however you can. And that you're willing to do whatever, and you mean whatever, it takes to make this marriage work.
Each day is a new day for you to improve yourself and to live life to it's fullest. And sometimes a person has to hit rock bottom to realize what they have at stake to lose in life. For you it's your wife and family. So you can't afford to mess up and lose her now. It would make life much harder to live. Try to get across to her that you've now seen the error of your ways.
The counseling is a great idea, I commend you for going and trying. Just know that all this isn't going to change over night and it's going to be a long haul to get back to what you had in your marriage. At this point all you can do is to take life one day at at time and see where all this leads. Keep the faith and don't give up.
