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You are here: Experts > People/Relationships > Marriage > Marriage and the Husband-Wife Relationship > Marriage problems
Expert: Graham Smith B.PHIL - 11/5/2009
Question
My husband and I have been together for 18 years married for 16. We are both in our forties (40 & 41) and have had a difficult marriage. We have two children. About four months ago he asked me for a divorce which I eventually agreed to and started the process, went through all the ups and downs of a divorce only to have him change his mind and decided to try to make things work. Now again he is telling me that he loves me but does not want to be in a relationship with me. He still however want to be able to have a sexual relationship with me but not reside with me. He wants to stay married to me so he can collect the benefits while seeing other women. He ran off to another state to see a married woman he had a relationship with 16 years ago but told me he went to visit friends. I don't know what to do but I do not want this craziness. I let him know how crazy his plan is but he does not see why its a problem since he blames me for everything that went wrong in his life and thinks I owe him this much. Counseling is not going to help because he does not think he has a problem. Please help me!!!
Answer
Diane,
your hubby, is so wicked i can't believe he can even begin to think the way he does. I rarely ever advise couple to separate, but i feel, for your own peace of mind, you must tell him to change or leave,or you leave him;its that simple,its his choice now. i wish you luck, because he doesn't know what he has in you, and that as a married couple,he is behaving like a spoilt brat.he needs to change, or you must get out of there.
i wish you luck
Graham
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