Marriage and the Husband-Wife Relationship/Upset Wife

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Question
Hi Daniel, I have been having a problem with my Wife-to-be and don't know who to ask for guidance.  So, hopefully you can help me out.  I don't think this is a big problem, but it could lead up to it, so i need some advice.

We have been together for 11 months and are truely in love.  We plan on getting married towards the end of december.  So, i told her that as long as she lets me go see the Football game with my friends, I'll be happy.  It's not asking much, but the past few weeks when I go, she becomes very sad afterwards and says that I should be spending time with her and not with my friends.  I don't want her to be sad, and now i feel like im going to have to give up watching the game with my friends to make her happy, but it return, it makes me feel like she's being controlling and it makes me feel kind of depressed that I can't do what I have been doing for years.  I would invite her to go with me, but she would feel unconfortable being the only girl there with all my guy friends, plus she doesn't like football.  For 2 or 3 days after, she will get very sad and not talk to me.  I try to talk to her, but she becomes quiet and unaffectionate.  I'm scared that something so small, in my eyes, will end up leading to us emotionally falling apart from each other.

Any suggestions on how to handle this situation is greatly appreciated.

Thanks,

Dan.

Answer
Maybe you can reach a mutual agreement. Make a list of possible solution including ridiculous ones. Then privately choose 3 of 10 and then compare choices. Your overlap is your agreement.

What to do about footbal games with friends.
1. Go every time for the whole game.
2. Go for half of the game every time.
3. Don't go at all to football games with friends.
4. Go for every other game.
5. Both husband and wife go to every game.
6. Get new friends.
7. Flip a coin to decide each time.
8. Promise to not manipulate or control the other with emotions.
9. Each try harder to manipulate the other and continue to suffer.
10. Tell friends about your dilemma and let the majority decide.
11. Consult an older married couple and go with their advice.

Marriage and the Husband-Wife Relationship

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Daniel Keeran, MSW

Expertise

I can answer questions about issues arising in marriage: conflict, communication, listening, anger, verbal abuse, household responsibilities, infidelity, addiction/substance abuse, pornography, physical abuse, time spent together, finances, in-laws, death of a spouse or child, separation and divorce, problem-solving and much more. FREE PDF DOWNLOAD "Counseling In A Book" http://www.ctihalifax.com/images/CounselingInABook.pdf

Experience

I have over 30 years as a counselor for couples experiencing difficulties. I have been a counselor for over 30 years in private practice and hospital settings. For deeper understanding and healing childhood experiences affecting adult life and relationships with self and others see the reader-friendly source http://www.amazon.com/Effective-Counseling-Skills-therapeutic-statements/dp/1442177993

Publications
"Effective Counseling Skills: the practical wording of therapeutic statements and processes" at http://tinyurl.com/yen574x and "Loss and Grief Counseling Skills" at http://tinyurl.com/35da8ov

Education/Credentials
MA (University of Kentucky), MSW (Kent School of Social Work)

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