Marriage and the Husband-Wife Relationship/Wife Upset about my Decisions


QUESTION: Hi Graham, I have been having a problem with my Wife-to-be and don't know who to ask for guidance.  So, hopefully you can help me out.  I don't think this is a big problem, but it could lead up to it, so i need some advice.

We have been together for 11 months and are truely in love.  We plan on getting married towards the end of december.  So, i told her that as long as she lets me go see the Football game with my friends, I'll be happy.  It's not asking much, but the past few weeks when I go, she becomes very sad afterwards and says that I should be spending time with her and not with my friends.  I don't want her to be sad, and now i feel like im going to have to give up watching the game with my friends to make her happy, but it return, it makes me feel like she's being controlling and it makes me feel kind of depressed that I can't do what I have been doing for years.

Any suggestions on how to handle this situation is greatly appreciated.



Are you really saying, the football match means more than your wedding? I would let her have her,your day without any hitch at all;then you can talk about your hobbies. If i have misunderstood your question,please explain the question again to me.

Good luck to you both

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: no, of course not, lol.  I'm talking about watching the game with my friends in general, not on my wedding day.  I'm saying that she gets upset with me when i go watch the game with my friends on Sundays.  She wants me to be with her and not with my friends.  I told her that, all i want is one day for a few hours out of the week to watch the game with my friends.  I've never been married and i know people that are depressed and say never to get married.  I understand they say that because, they can't do the things that they once did.  I understand that when you are married, you can't do the things that you did when you were single.  But, i feel like i shouldn't have to give up everything.  My friends are very important to me and all im asking is for once a week to hang out with them and watch a game.  It's not much the game that's important, but the time to catch up and talk to my friends.  I try to let her understand, but she seems to have a hard time understanding male bonding.  I dont' feel like i should give in, i just want a way to help her understand.  I love her and i don't want something so simple to ruin our relationship, before we even get married.  I need some advice and opinions on this matter.


Sorry, lol, i should have known you didn't really mean what i thought you meant. Ok, so i have just thought, why not simply show her your letter to me, and sit her down and explain to her how you feel. Remembering, of course,that you mustn't neglect her in any way shape or form. Sometimes it just takes a conversation to clear the air,and then everyone is "singing from the same song sheet".


Marriage and the Husband-Wife Relationship

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Graham Smith ( PhB)B.PHIL


I can help with any question on marriage, based on my 38 years of marriage. I also have two children, and two granddaughters.


38 years of marriage.

I have a bachelor of Philosophy (PhB) from the Liverpool university (UK)

Awards and Honors
bachelor of Philosophy

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