Marriage and the Husband-Wife Relationship/how to boost up our sex life

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QUESTION: Hello Sir,
I'm facing a problem where my husband does'nt want to have sex with me.he will not say directly but he will give an excuse and most of the time,i will be the one who will make a move.we just got married for 8 month,and yet,his sex drive towards me  had reduce. Actually, now I am 7month pregnant.when I ask him why he dont want to have sex with me, he will said that he's afraid it could hurt our baby in my womb,eventhough he knows that sex is good for me to deliver the baby soon.im not sure if im being pregnant had turn him off or maybe he felt that our sex life are bored.at the same time, I kept on seeing him watching porn.my question is, is it possible that he had lose interest on having sex with me, or is it because he finds that watching porn is more arousing?really need your advice on this.

Regards,
Izura

ANSWER: Hi Izura,

It is hard to know what a man is thinking with out talking to him.  However, it just might be that the pregnancy is the issue.  Some men find it difficult to have sex with a pregnant woman, especially if she is far enough along to be seriously showing.  Did the lack of interest in you develop after you became pregnant?  You might see a clue in the timing of his lack of interest.  If you offer non intercourse sex is he interested?  Did you have a satisfying sex life before getting married?  Before getting pregnant?  Is pregnancy the only thing that changed?

My guess is that it is the pregnancy but these questions may help you understand what is going on.

Good luck,

Tom Blair
Relationship Coach

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Hi sir,
Actually our sex life were much more interesting before married.i have tried to talk to him about this,and he will say that he dont want to feel bored if we were having sex frequently because he dont want it to be part of the routine life..do you think that answer would make any sense?honestly,i just dont want him to have lack of interest in me and find that watching porn would arouse him more than me.and of course my biggest fear is that he would go find other women to satisfy him.can you suggest anything that I could do so that he will not do that kind of thing because it will surely ruined our marriage.
Thank you for your time

Regards,
Izura

Answer
Hi Izura,

Sex is a major part of any marriage.  But, it is only part of a good marriage.  Besides attraction and sex, affection, respect, communication, companionship are essential.  You can work on meeting these needs to improve the connection.  After the baby is born,  you can work to create a spicier love life.  But probably he will again find you sexy.  

Good luck,

Tom Blair
Relationship Coach

Marriage and the Husband-Wife Relationship

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Tom Blair

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Questions related to strengthening and saving relationships and marriages. Sexual relationship questions. Published author.

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Neural Linguistic Practitioner Hypnotherapist Sexual Relationship Coach Internationally read author. Retired Educator All relationships are based on having certain needs being met. Healthy relationships are ones where there is a mutual meeting of these needs. Respect, honesty, communication are just some of those needs When those needs and others are not being met, the relationship will fall into disrepair. Together we will identify those needs and work to correct the imbalance. It is not too late, love can be rekindled. And it can last a life time.

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Neural Linguistic Practitioner Hypnotherapist Sexual Relationship Coach Internationally read author. Retired Educator

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