Marriage and the Husband-Wife Relationship/confused with Husband behaviour

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Question
hello,

I am married for 12 years. My husband of late have started fighting. from the begining he does not share his personal details like salary, investements etc what plans he is making etc. while he controls all my earnings, investments etc. he does not misuse my money but my details is an open book to him wereas i dont know anything abt him.

mostly our arguments are based on him being like this and not being affectionate to me or my kid-he does not epxress rather does not have any feelings to me. but he is not a guy who does not know to express because I have seen thta the moment his mother or his siblings are sick, he calls and visit them (they stay out of city)-he is very anxious but when i am sick, he ask me to go the hospital by myself as he is busy or cant take leave due imp meeting, does not bother to check how i managed etc.

he usually discuss and finalize everything with family, I have no say. recently when his mom visted us, he happened to clean the washroom. I have been doing this for long but after a bout of spine problem, he on his own took to this job of cleaning the wash room in our bedroom. His mother made a ruckus abt this and he did not protect me. he just let her keep saying.

from there on started a lot of issues between us. his mother happened to insert a lot into him and he has started behaving very badly with me.
he and his sibiling together abused my parents with fility language and have asked my parents not to come home and neither i shld have contact with them.

during this argument phase he abused me mentlaly and lot of consective events after which we were not at all in talking terms. now the situation is thta we talk very little w.r.t necessities -related to kid. we dont have a husband wife relation in the night and even after me apologizing several times, he ignores me. when i confronted, he said that he hates the sight of me nad cant see as wife any more and dont wnat to have the lfe we had previously (Husband wife relation). he said that i am lving at his mercy and any time can throw me out of his house as it only belongs to him legally.

i am so confused, dont understnad why he is behaving like this for a small fight which he has blown up. and why does he dont wnat to see me treat me like a wife?
can you help me.

Answer
Hi Seema,

You have written that his behavior has deteriorated off late, so was he loving and caring earlier?  Does he take care of the finances of the house? I think there is someone who is inciting him and he is not applying much thought to it.

Now you have to play the game very subtly and beat him at it. Firstly, start ignoring him completely behave as if he does not exist, stop questioning him or even acknowledging what he has to say. Secondly, be happy even if you are feeling low pretend that you are satisfied and care only for your kid and no one else. Thirdly, stop complaining about his mother or other family members let him rush to them for petty things. Most importantly, ensure that your money is safe and secure and he does not access it.  This change in you will send him the right signal that he cannot take you for granted. Be strong for your kid's sake and don't let him guess that you are missing him.

Regards,

Vani

Marriage and the Husband-Wife Relationship

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Vani

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Marriages are made in heaven! But in love marriages when the two partners belong to different nations, castes, races, social strata, backgrounds, the amount of understanding required is more. I can tackle queries related to love marriages of these kinds. Sorry, I cannot help out on gay and lesbian relationships and am neither a sex therapist nor an astrologer.

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20 years of a blissful married life.

Education/Credentials
Masters in Business Administration

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