Marriage and the Husband-Wife Relationship/no idea what to do


Hello, I want to tell you something and hopefully you can help me.
Some background info - I am a 28yo male, married for a couple of years and have been suffering on and off from depression for a good few years. Most of my depression is related to me and my personality. I should try to explain a bit more. I have always been a quiet and shy person. I get on well with pretty much anyone but I dont have any close friends, even among members of my family who I rarely see. I guess at times I feel lonely and would like to be more 'normal' (you probably hate that word but there it is). The situation is probably not helped by my wife working out of the country during the week and only back at weekends. Lately I have tried to be a bit more sociable with my work friends and also my wifes sister and her partner (just together, not married or engaged). I have been to see a counseller to talk about my depression and other issues for a few weeks. This week was a very tough week, I think things just got on top of me a bit too much - being lonely, cold weather, wife away etc.. and a bad week in work. On one of the evenings, my wifes sister came round for a cup of tea and a chat and I guess she could see something wasnt quite right with me and was asking questions. I guess I was at a particularly low point so I blurted out everything about how I had been feeling lately etc... and had a bit of a cry. My wifes sister offered me a hug which is just what i needed. However, as we separated, I kissed her. Im not really too sure what happened next, I think she was just surprised and caught offguard really while I apologised. Im not sure how long she stayed before getting a taxi, might have been 5mins or 30mins, its all a blur. Since then I have thought of nothing else. It's probably not helped by the fact that I find my sister in law very attractive and I think about her quite a bit while masturbating during the week/in shower etc... Ive even fantasised about her wearing her bridesmaid's dress for me. I guess all of this has me more confused than ever!
What do you think about my situation?

This isn't really in my scope, but i do think you need to speak to your wife about her work and the job she does. The Sister situation is very dangerous,because the sister didn't appear to stop you or "tell you off". This is worrying because its almost something you want to happen. I guess you should try and maintain contact with the sister or your wife might think something is wrong. The fantasizing,isn't wrong as a fantasy, but you almost acted it out so you are treading on dodgy ground here. OK, i would speak to the sister and explain it was a one off, and your sorry;she should also say sorry to you for allowing it,(whether she will or not is up to her). I don't have a complete answer, as there isn't one right way here, its down to what you want in your life..
Good luck


Marriage and the Husband-Wife Relationship

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Graham Smith B.PHIL


I can help with any question on marriage, based on my 32 years of marriage. I also have two children, and one granddaughter,and one step grandaughter.


32years of marriage.

I have a bachelor of Philosophy from the Liverpool university (UK)

Awards and Honors
bachelor of Philosophy

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