Marriage and the Husband-Wife Relationship/Marriage
I have a 8 month old son and all those 8 months I haven't slept nor my husband. It is really taking a toll on our marriage. My family is in another country and his family is been very far from us so far. Now we moved closer to them but our son only cries in his grandmas arms. My husband works and I stay home with the baby. My concern is that lately I feel like having a baby was the biggest mistake of my life. I'm not a motherly type and finding it nearly impossible to cope with the sleepless nights and my babies moods. There is no passion left in our relationship with my husband. He keeps telling me that it will come back when we get our sleep back but I don't have any faith in it. He accuses me for giving up to easy. I know I have given up easy but the stress and lack of support is shutting me down in every way. I feel like I want to pack my bags and disappear. I cry every day and don't see point in my life anymore. My husband is a wonderful dad though. But everything about him irritates me. I don't believe him anymore when he says he loves me. I don't know why. I don't know anymore if I love him or not. When it's a good day and I manage to be in a good mood (it doesn't happen often anymore) I do love him, or I think I do but when it's a bad day like most of my days, I just hate everything and everyone. I can't carry on like this anymore. I'd like to save my marriage but I feel it impossible to put any effort into this. What should I do?
This is a very common problem and I think it comes down quite simply to your exhaustion in the situation. With the dramatic changes you have been going through (having a baby often creates havoc with hormones) and the lack of sleep, it is no wonder you feel the way you do.
You need to find a way to take some pressure off and have some rest. Can you get some help to look after the baby? If you could get some regular time away with your husband (a night a week or even just a few hours) on a regular basis you will find it will do wonders for your mental and emotional state.
Don't give up on things. With the amount of pressure you are under it will be very difficult for even the most amazing marriage not to be affected.
All the best,