Marriage and the Husband-Wife Relationship/in an odd spot
Hello, I want to tell you something and hopefully you can help me.
Some background info - I am a 28yo male, married for a couple of years and have been suffering on and off from depression for a good few years. Most of my depression is related to me and my personality. I should try to explain a bit more. I have always been a quiet and shy person. I get on well with pretty much anyone but I dont have any close friends, even among members of my family who I rarely see. I guess at times I feel lonely and would like to be more 'normal' (you probably hate that word but there it is). The situation is probably not helped by my wife working out of the country during the week and only back at weekends. Lately I have tried to be a bit more sociable with my work friends and also my wifes sister and her partner (just together, not married or engaged). I have been to see a counseller to talk about my depression and other issues for a few weeks. This week was a very tough week, I think things just got on top of me a bit too much - being lonely, cold weather, wife away etc.. and a bad week in work. On one of the evenings, my wifes sister came round for a cup of tea and a chat and I guess she could see something wasnt quite right with me and was asking questions. I guess I was at a particularly low point so I blurted out everything about how I had been feeling lately etc... and had a bit of a cry. My wifes sister offered me a hug which is just what i needed. However, as we separated, I kissed her. Im not really too sure what happened next, I think she was just surprised and caught offguard really while I apologised. Im not sure how long she stayed before getting a taxi, might have been 5mins or 30mins, its all a blur. Since then I have thought of nothing else. It's probably not helped by the fact that I find my sister in law very attractive and I think about her quite a bit while masturbating during the week/in shower etc... Ive even fantasised about her wearing her bridesmaid's dress for me. I guess all of this has me more confused than ever!
What do you think about my situation?
I'm sorry to hear you are having these problems with depression and that your wife is not there for you more often. It's clear to me this is the root of the problem right there. The Bible is very clear. "It is not good for man to be alone". This is why God started the whole idea of marriage and why He created woman in the first place.
I'm sorry to hear that you have committed and continue to commit the sin of masturbation. This is a very serious sin, of course, even if the whole world thinks otherwise. What does it matter what the world thinks is right and wrong? God is the one who decides what is right and what is wrong. It's our job merely to do what God wants us to do, and to avoid doing what He does not want us to do.
What happened with your wife's sister seems innocent enough, but it obviously is causing you to have impure thoughts. This puts you in a very serious situation. Remember the devil wants nothing more than your soul in hell forever. Why else do you think he's causing all these problems for you? Or do you think the devil doesn't exist? That's exactly what he wants you to think. I think you should do everything you can to avoid putting yourself in a situation where you might fall into sin. Avoid contact with her, especially ever being alone with her.
I'll be praying for you.