Marriage and the Husband-Wife Relationship/sex has come to a halt
I have been in a relationshi for 14 yrs. We have went through a lot over the yrs and for the past yr my lack of sexual interest has become a wedge between us to the point it has become such a big deal that we haven't had sexual contact for almost a year now. He is about done waiting and says it is an issue I have with not wanting to be sexual. He doesn't realize his actions and the way he speaks to me & treats me is the reason I can't get those feelings back. We love eacother deeply and have had previous relationships that didn't work out. We are both now in our mid 40's and don't really want to start over with somebody new and give up what we once had together but I can't get past my lack of interest in the bedroom. We have grown to like different things and the only thing wwe do together anymore is take care of dogs and watch tv after working daily. Now the sex thing has become such a big deal that I don't even want to go there . I need to know if I should let him go so that he can find somebody that he can be happy & fullfilled with. I have strong doubts that this can be fixed now tha there are so many hurt feelings involved.
Its clear you have issues, but so does your partner;first you must talk about the issues that are causing this problem. The lack of sexual interest is so deep set, the talking you both should do is very important. I'm not a sex therapist,and i do think you will need to discuss this with your partner to decide if you both need to visit one.You talk of the things he has done and said is a main problem;that should be your starting point of any talk you have. I read your letter, and feel that you are almost wanting to give up. You and your partner really need to sit down and air everything that has gone on in the past. Remember the past has gone, there is only the future left.
good luck to you both.