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Marriage and the Husband-Wife Relationship/Can's Stop Sexting but in a relationship


So my background
My spouse and I have been together for 7 years. Am happy in our relationship, our sex life is great and I cant picture myself without him.
I had recently started sexting a mutual friend, it started as just us talking then a lewd sexual comment was said and instead of stopping and letting him know that I love my spouse and this is inappropriate I went along with it. For about a month we were chatting and sexting. I had no intent to ever have physical sex with him and the sexting has since ended.

I dont know if I  should I let my spouse know and try to make amends or just leave this hidden. I feel like I would rather him find out from me then him finding out threw the grapevine. My other issue it that a similar thing happened two years ago sexting has become this compulsion for me where I know it is wrong but I dont know how to stop and I dont know how to go about stoppiing. I just dont know what to do anymore.  I love and adore my spouse there is no relationship issues making me sext I just dont know why I do it.

Hi Renee~

You basically have two options available to you.

A) You keep this from your husband and don't bring it up. And hope that he doesn't ever find out about it some day.  B/c then you'll have to explain to him what happened and what led up to this Sexting addiction.

B) You go ahead and come clean to him and try to explain what happened.  But before you do make sure you're ready for his possible reaction.  Which might be one of many such as confusion, anger, hurt, betrayal, and it will most certainly affect his trust with you, and the list of emotions he'll experience goes on.

If you opt for the latter and you want to change this destructive behavior, you've already taken the first step and have acknowledged that this has become a problem and ultimately an addiction for you.  Even if you don't mean anything by it and you'e sure it will not lead to a physical affair, etc.  The hardest part you've already done.   A person can't change what they don't acknowledge.  You have to want to change and be ready to do whatever it takes to stop this undesirable behavior.  If you don't it could ultimately cost you your marriage and of course you know it's not worth losing your marriage over.

You have to make some tough decisions about all of this.  If you don't change this bad sexting habit, you will end up regretting it.  And honestly in all reality sexting is not worth losing a great husband or good marriage over.  I think you know that.  So my best advice to you is to go with your heart and do what's right for you and what makes you happy in the end.  No one knows what's in your best interest than you do.  You seem like a very smart person and you know what the right choice for you here is.  The choice is yours and it's one that only you can make. I hope this helps you some.  

Marriage and the Husband-Wife Relationship

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