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Marriage and the Husband-Wife Relationship/work balance between wife and husband


Dear Samantha,

I am writting to you for any advice and I really need an advice from a woman to woman( sorry for english,it`s not my first language).I have 2 situations:
First:-I work with my husband in the same company.I am economist and my chef is finance husband is engenieer and his chef is the constructor we are in touch every day with the most important persons in the company.we work at about 12 hours/day and when we go home,we really have a lot to talk about the work in general.
But there are confidential information of the finances that my director say to me:`the boss has asked you not to tell these information to your husband`.Ok I always have respected my work and information,but my husband wants to know more and more.I know that he asks for curiosity(he always says that he liked economics school and these kind of things) but I feel so emberrased when I respond to him :my dear let`s talk about us,our plans etc.and he become more doubtfull...
I don`t know how to react i this situation?
I love my work but I dont want to make the husband upset in the other side. What do you advice me to do?

Second:-Before 2 weeks my brother in low begun working here .I did not tell to my chef this before.My chef is that kind of person who wants to know everything about everybody,and every new employer came in work with his premission.He really apriciate a question for  xxx person than a question for the work.
We decided to tell him when the job was secure,but he called my husband and asked if he knew the name...My husband said yes its my brother.Everything normal betwwen them.
During the days,his attitude is normal with me.But I sow smth not good there.
Today I gave him some sweets(that he likes them) and I said to him:these are for my broth. that he has begin working here.
He was very polite and asked me about him but I sow that he was not very pleased for this.
I was embaraced and I dont know how should I behave? He has supported me in work and our relationship is based on respect and seriosity.
My husband says dont talk to him anymore about this(he really dont like him)but he is a man.He do not understand that if I stay so correct then my chef is going to be more correct too and the work might be boring for me(my chef has worked in military before and his correct way will make me crazy in work ). I am really between 2 fires.
What do you recomand me dear Samantha? I want a women advice.

Thank you

Hi Ana~

It's okay to answer any questions that your husband might have about your job.  But when it comes to confidential things related to the job, this is where you have to draw the line and tell him you can't give him confidential information about your job to him.  Once you've answered any questions pertaining to your job, then switch to your relationship, such as how was your day, etc.  Tell him it's okay that he's curious and interested in your job, but that there are certain things you are just not allowed to disclose to him, even in private conversation just between you and he.  He might get upset but hopefully he'll understand where your coming from.  

I understand that your boss is wanting to know information about different people.  But when it comes to personal issues and information about your brother in law then you need to have boundaries with your boss too, just like you do with your husband.  You can engage him in small talk and answer his questions matter of fact, and not give too much personal info to your boss.  Keep it generic and don't give him detailed answers when he inquires.  It's always better to pretend you don't know the answer than to give him information that may come back to haunt you.  For example if you tell him something really personal about your husband, brother in law, etc he could turn around and use it against you or them at a later time.  I'm not saying that he would do this, but you just never know exactly how trustworthy a person is.  So I tend to agree with your husband and to not discuss really personal information with your boss anymore.  I hope this helps answer your questions.  

Marriage and the Husband-Wife Relationship

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I can answer most any questions regarding a husband/wife relationship. Whatever the question may be. I would like to help you find an answer to it. If you want an honest and unbiased opinion on things then ask away. I am a divorced mother of 4 children, I have been a single mother, and I'm currently remarried and have a 4th daughter with my husband. I know what it is like to have a spouse cheat on you, to be taken advantage of, to feel like everything is hopeless (being depressed), emotions (the up`s and down`s). I will try to answer anything you have on your mind about husband-wife relationships, divorce, adultery, etc. Please don`t hesitate to ask.


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