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Marriage and the Husband-Wife Relationship/After Child birth my wife behaviour changed

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QUESTION: As per your guideline, I have pass on this information

"pre condition for divorce for Hindus is that the couple should be living separately for at least one year"

she aware this, infect she told me that if I don't get separate then our relation not sustain, and she is ready for the same., she only want that i should separate then only she come other wise other option is open.

She is so strong that she is not giving me any call any message., I have send her sweet and loveable message also but she is not replying me, i have given one letter to her on that also she has not reply.

Letter as follows :
My Dingle
I never thought that one day I would have to write such a letter, begging the one I love Ė and who loves me too, I know Ė to give our love another chance, for I could never imagine that something so big, strong and bright could ever need such a thing. But, unfortunately, we have reached a point where our small differences, our different points of view overcame our feelings, turning all the love we feel for each other into dust overnight!
Letís forget the nasty details, letís concentrate our strength in the good things, such as this longing to be there for each other, all this affection we have for one another, this willingness to devote our heart, body and soul to each other.
Please listen, please reconsiderÖ I believe your reaction to my mistake was a bit exaggerated. Deep down in your soul you know I had no intention to offend you or treat you badly, I just couldnít express myself properly.
Understand at this age how i can live my parents; you know that how much I am attached with them,  
The time what we have spend together, in that if i have give you love & respect up to your expectation then  give respect to my wish that i want joint family, i canít survive alone.
My Dingle , I want to be the first one to ask you to measure all the pros and cons of all that weíve lived together and have been through together. I am sure, in the end, you will reach a positive result; between the two of us, love and good will have always ruled.
I love you and I want everything to go back to normal, I want you close to me and I want to be close to you as much as possible, the way we used to be and the way it makes us happy. Letís give ourselves another chance, letís have peace and love among us!
On my part, the best thing I can give you is my love!

she is not calling me not sms me, I have decided not to visit for 2 months, Pl. suggest as per your expertise can this stapes help ???    

Or in my mind many wrong thoughts coming, That my wife and her father make plane earlier only before marriage that they interested in my money.   or

Her need satisfy buy her brother and father that's why she don't want husband.,    

I am helpless to understand my wife.

ANSWER: Hi Rakesh,

Visit her and put the requisite amount of money next to your kid and walk out, don't argue or discuss anything. It should be the exact amount that her brother spent. While doing this, don't look sad or angry just look as if you don't care. Then do not call or text her for few days, check this out if it works. Also is it possible to find from someone whom you can trust that what exactly are her father/brother planning - like an inside story?

Regards,

Vani

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Ms. Vani,

Can i put Check in the name of his brother, so we have some proof in our hand,

If My wife Parents & her are interested in money then they kept that money also, because in last meeting also i told that if you are interested to come along with me then i can give you money,

She reply me that You give me money, but i am not interested in joint family.

in last meeting, i already inform my wife that i have made Fix Deposit for amounting to rs. 50000/- in the name of our child.
she also aware that earlier also i have invested Rs.45000/- in her name.

But now she is comparing with my bhabi (That my bhabi has 4 bangles and i have only 2 bangles,  Bhabi has 2 Mangalesutra and i have one )

But my mom given same ornaments to both "weight wise" (Bhabi marry 10 year's ago)

And My bhabi parents given her lot's of ornament in her marriage,   and where as my wife parents not given that much ornaments to her daughter.

And we have never demand any thing from their family. ( that difference also i explain her ) but no use.  

I have try to conveyance her 3-4 times, but every time she come out with new things (In Last meeting only she has compare with bhabi) in all earlier meeting she talk on different issue only.  

I am little confuse that his brother paid Rs.38000/- or Rs.48000/- I have not bother that time, because i don't know that this matter arise.

I am ready to pay Rs.48000/-, but i afraid that they are interested in money then this efforts also has no use.

if you have gad feeling that this way matter resolve then i am ready to take risk.    or     i don't go their for 2 months  (definitely i miss my child a lot ) now a day's also i take tables for sleeping.

Is it possible for you to talk just like Councillor with my wife, you don't give me your phone number, i can provide you her number.,

Answer
Hi Rakesh,

Contact the hospital and get the old records, they can give you details of all payments made. Yes, make the cheque in her brother's name. As for the FDs, you can make yourself the nominee in both. That way it will be clear if it's only money she is after or really loves you? Sorry but the terms of this website do not allow an expert to contact anybody directly.

Regards,

Vani

Marriage and the Husband-Wife Relationship

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Vani

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Marriages are made in heaven! But in love marriages when the two partners belong to different nations, castes, races, social strata, backgrounds, the amount of understanding required is more. I can tackle queries related to love marriages of these kinds. Sorry, I cannot help out on gay and lesbian relationships and am neither a sex therapist nor an astrologer.

Experience

20 years of a blissful married life.

Education/Credentials
Masters in Business Administration

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