Marriage and the Husband-Wife Relationship/constantly arguing

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Question
My husband and I are constantly arguing and he feels we are incompatible and there isn't much to salvage in our marriage.  I want to go to counseling to help us communicate better and manage our anger and resentment toward e/o. I don't ask for fancy clothes, cars, vacations etc.  I told him I only ask for respect and understanding.  He says he does not respect me and frequently puts me down by mocking and name-calling.  He picks on the way I do things and expects me to change to his liking, as if he is perfect and has no responsibility to try to make things better.  He doesn't care if my feelings are hurt by this either. I am unhappy being with him but I don't want to break up our family.  What should I do?

Answer
Heather, the bottom line I think is that it comes down to putting up with it or leaving. Both are going to require you to have courage, however one has you being happy at the end of it and the other does not. Look at all the reasons why you are afraid to leave and work through them.
In terms of breaking up the family, it is much better for children to be raised by happy parents (even if they are apart) than parents who are miserable. Also what example are you setting them? If one of them was older and in the same situation as you and came to you for advice, what would you tell them to do? Stay and be miserable or seek to be happy, no matter what the cost?
Once you know what you really want to do, you just need to start looking at how to do it. Make a list of your questions and fears of the unknown and then start looking for the solutions.
You deserve to be happy, for your children's sake. Don't let your fears keep you in a bad situation.
I hope this helps!
All the best
Liam

Marriage and the Husband-Wife Relationship

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Liam Naden

Expertise

I specialise in helping couples save their marriage and rebuild it after major hurts such as an affair. Creating intimacy, removing hurt, dealing with sexual and communication problems. I have two relationship-saver programs and a free podcast which are available from my website www.liamnaden.com and a free report, "The Five Keys to Saving Your Marriage Now" at www.growinginloveforlife.com.

Experience

Relationship coach with own relationship coaching business. Author of several books on marriage and intimacy. I offer two relationship saving programs: "Stop Your Divorce" and "Save Your Marriage" which have helped many couples save their marriage and rebuild their love and intimacy.

Publications
About.com Amazon Kindle: Author of the ""Growing in Love for Life" series of ebooks for saving and strengthening marriage.

Education/Credentials
Master of Arts (First Class Honors)

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