Marriage and the Husband-Wife Relationship/Ignoring Our Mutual Agreements

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Question
What can I do about my husband ignoring/forgetting any/all verbal agreements we make with each other?  We will discuss an issue, come to a mutual agreement, and he will later do the exact opposite of what we agreed on. He has been doing this for 20 years (the whole marriage). I feel like I don't count or exist and nothing I have to say is worth listening to.  I love my husband and I want us to work as one (a team).

Answer
Hi Pat,

I am really sorry I took so long getting back to you.

You say you have put up with this for 20 years?  Over those 20 years you have taught him how to treat you.   It is much harder to retrain him.  First, you must tell him, in no uncertain words, how you feel.  You must explain to him that you need a change in his behavior.  And that you feel disrespected every time he disregards your feelings.  You may have to have this conversation many times.  And every time he breaks his word to you you need to remind him that breaking promises is hurtful.   If you can get him to begin to see how you feel and to care how you feel,  then you just might start to see some improvement.  

Marriage and the Husband-Wife Relationship

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Tom Blair

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Questions related to strengthening and saving relationships and marriages. Sexual relationship questions. Published author.

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Neural Linguistic Practitioner Hypnotherapist Sexual Relationship Coach Internationally read author. Retired Educator All relationships are based on having certain needs being met. Healthy relationships are ones where there is a mutual meeting of these needs. Respect, honesty, communication are just some of those needs When those needs and others are not being met, the relationship will fall into disrepair. Together we will identify those needs and work to correct the imbalance. It is not too late, love can be rekindled. And it can last a life time.

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Neural Linguistic Practitioner Hypnotherapist Sexual Relationship Coach Internationally read author. Retired Educator

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