Marriage and the Husband-Wife Relationship/marriage

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Dear Samantha, i really dont know where to begin,so I'll try here.Me and my wife have been married for almost 25yrs courted 3yrs before we married and everything was fine as we courted so eventually we got married(her choice) and started out really rocky first 3yrs and eventually mellowed out too where we moved in together and raised two boys.The 1st 10yrs into this marriage i worked as a (otr) Over the road driver which keep me gone sometimes as long as 2-3 week periods and when i got home we were inseparable and done everything together eventually i did find a job closer to home somewhere around 13yrs into the marriage but i never thought me trying to be home every night with my wife and family would have changed our lifestyle so drastically it was like i was intruding on them marriage took a change for the worse seems all was fine as i was away from the home working paying most bills and leaving her in charge of our finances which i took control of eventually(big mistake) and as far as the kids they needed a father figure at home also,eventually the boys moved on too make whatever choices in life.we continued too struggle with our marriage there after we were growing apart just one line of communication from me and still almost all responsibilities put on myself I've backed here however i know and could but just don't get the same from here hard too believe after 25 yrs she still dont know how to communicate or accept her half of the issues here she has put so much pressure on us both that we looked for comfort in someone else too this day she is so cold too me is this marriage worth saving and may i add i cannot get her too kiss or hug me what so ever sex is out the door and has been for last 6yr of this marriage.

Answer
Hi Larry~

When a job takes a person away from their home for extended periods of time, it can cause problems in their marriage.  They get set into a certain routine and a particular way of life.  And in a sense a couple can become two different people, and ultimately grow apart, even if it is unintentionally.  This in turn can cause strain on the marriage, arguing, etc.  And it's not the same person you met in the beginning of the relationship.  It happens.  This is why it's so important to keep that connection with a spouse, or the flame can die out.  In your case you have had 25 yrs of not really connecting with your wife, and when you did connect with the family it was in short periods of time, to try to fit a lot into such a little amount of time when you came off the road.  So you didn't have much time to really notice the cracks that were already starting to show in the foundation of the marriage.  Add to that, you say she has a lack of communication with you (which is a huge issue) and her unwillingness to accept her share of the problems in this relationship.

Not to mention that she's not willing to be affectionate with you in any way.  Throw in the lack of intimacy for 6 years and you definitely have some major issues going on here.  You need to try and sit down with her and have a serious heart to heart talk with her.  She needs to know how this is affecting you.  And what you're willing and unwilling to put up with in this marriage.  Suggest to her that you both go to marriage counseling if she wants to stay in this marriage.  Otherwise, you'll have to pursue other avenues on what to do.  As one person you can only do so much.  If that means you ultimately have to divorce her then so be it. You deserve to be treated better than that.  I hope this helps you some.  

Marriage and the Husband-Wife Relationship

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Samantha

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I can answer most any questions regarding a husband/wife relationship. Whatever the question may be. I would like to help you find an answer to it. If you want an honest and unbiased opinion on things then ask away. I am a divorced mother of 4 children, I have been a single mother, and I'm currently remarried and have a 4th daughter with my husband. I know what it is like to have a spouse cheat on you, to be taken advantage of, to feel like everything is hopeless (being depressed), emotions (the up`s and down`s). I will try to answer anything you have on your mind about husband-wife relationships, divorce, adultery, etc. Please don`t hesitate to ask.

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I've been answering questions and helping my clients for the last 10 years. I have many satisfied and return clients. I have helped people from all over the world and from many different walks of life, cultures, etc.

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