Marriage and the Husband-Wife Relationship/Marriage-What is it REALLY


QUESTION: You are a religious man, and you've read where God believes in no sex before marriage. But, you know that God never said marriage demanded an "official paper". In fact, I don't know if He ever did define it. So, if a couple comes together, dedicates themselves to God and each other (and really really mean it), don't you think this constitutes marriage in God's eyes just as much as just described? In fact, maybe it's more of a marriage this way, as you know most marriages today proclaims marriage to God,but rarely do they mean it.

ANSWER: Barney,

You have no way of knowing if I am a man or a woman, but you are free to guess.

Yes, God not only believes sex before marriage is wrong, but it is wrong precisely because He does not want us to do it.

If the partners are baptized then their marriage is sacramental.
But if they are not baptized then their marriage can not be sacramental and is called "natural".

I hope this helps. Please write back if not.

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QUESTION: I believe i can see why you don't accept ratings. You probably would get some negative ones. I hate to say it, but your answer does not help the Catholic cause. That's one of the reasons there are so many Protestants- you all have taken it upon yourself to decide what the Bible says. Where did you get from the Bible that God expects baptism to be sacramental to make marriage official? And, in addition, what do you mean by baptism? It can be interpreted many ways: just as the controversial phrase from Jesus to Nicodemus " Unless you're born of water..."could mean baptism by water or it could mean the baptism of the Holy Ghost enveloping one to save them.
And, yes you may be a woman--I didn't think.


I don't accept ratings because I only say what the Catholic Church says. If someone agrees with the Church then they would rate my answer high. Otherwise they would rate it low. That's why I don't allow ratings.

If, when you say that my answer "doesn't help the Catholic cause", you mean that there might be fewer Catholics as a result of it, then that in fact would help the "Catholic cause" more than hurt it, since those who call themselves Catholic, but are not, would leave.

You are right in saying "you all have taken it upon yourself to decide what the Bible says". This is true. The Church wrote the New Testament. The Church preserved the New Testament. And there wouldn't be a New Testament today if it hadn't been for the Church. Nor would there be such a thing as Protestantism or any other group that calls itself Christian.

In my previous answer I did not claim to get anything from the Bible. Therefore I am not able to answer your question "Where did you get from the Bible..."

By baptism I mean: "The Sacrament of regeneration by water in the word. By nature we are born from Adam children of wrath, but by Baptism we are regenerated in Christ, children of mercy. For He gave power to men to be made the sons of God, to them that believe in his name, who are born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God."

I hope this helps. If you prefer to continue this discussion by e-mail, please provide your e-mail address.

Marriage and the Husband-Wife Relationship

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I can answer questions about the sacrament of matrimony from a Catholic perspective.


I used to have religious vows and I was preparing for the priesthood when I was told my vocation is to the married state. I received the holy sacrament of matrimony in the Catholic Church 15 years ago.

I went to Catholic High School and then after a two year novitiate, I professed vows in a religious order. I was later told my vocation is in the married state. I've been married now since 1995.

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