Marriage and the Husband-Wife Relationship/Lost and crushed pride

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As I type this on last nite of my honeymoon my wife is sleep on bed, and I'm on couch in our suite. She was a virgin, and I hadn't had sex In the 3 yrs we've dated. We've had sex several times on honeymoon, she's told me that sex is overrated she can only come from oral, and it only feels like something going in and out and it hasn't been pleasurable like she thought it would be and she's not having the feelings everyone told her she would have. And she's asking when can we try toys etc, the first couple times we did it were awkward, I've been out of practice as I have had several partners and experience. So far she's saying hers hasn't been good. So now I feel the most inadequate I have ever felt in my life. This type of stuff leads to cheating and her second guessing and looking at me differently. She's saying all the right things like nothing is wrong with me etc I'm still a man she thinks I'm handsome etc but right now off my honeymoon I feel like trash and I can't even sleep, all this time I'm thinking she's enjoying it and she's not, yes she's honest but this woman has always seemed to say things that really kill my ego, but this one takes the cake. I just can't help but to feel less than right now. I really fee like she regrets marrying me. She said a long time ago what if she doesn't like sex? I just didn't think we would have this problem. I give her amazing oral all the time! I do forelplAy setting the mood all the stuff I'm supposed to do, so hurt right now

Answer
Hi Aaron,

There are a great many women that rarely if ever achieve orgasm from penetration.  And the fact that you are able to give her orgasms orally is a plus.  Most likely the issue is hers alone.  Now there are things you can do to give her greater pleasure. Techniques that you can master that might give her vaginal orgasms.

First you need to get her very excite with oral then find a position that allows your penis to rub her clitoris.  Often just shifting slightly the angle of penetration can do it.   The other approach is to find a position or angle of entry to strokes her G spot.  That is the area on the top of her vagina about an inch in.  A very sensitive area.

I wrote an article on my web site about the female orgasm  http://changescoaching.com/sex/?p=220  you might take a look at it.  In my Intimate Couple Store, I have several books and dvds designed to help you have better sex.  I like Orgasms: How to Have Them, Give Them, and Keep Them Coming  http://changescoaching.com/sex/?page_id=255   If nothing else they give a starting point for healthy discussion.  And an excuse to explore.

Have fun,  

Marriage and the Husband-Wife Relationship

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Tom Blair

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Questions related to strengthening and saving relationships and marriages. Sexual relationship questions. Published author.

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Neural Linguistic Practitioner Hypnotherapist Sexual Relationship Coach Internationally read author. Retired Educator All relationships are based on having certain needs being met. Healthy relationships are ones where there is a mutual meeting of these needs. Respect, honesty, communication are just some of those needs When those needs and others are not being met, the relationship will fall into disrepair. Together we will identify those needs and work to correct the imbalance. It is not too late, love can be rekindled. And it can last a life time.

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Neural Linguistic Practitioner Hypnotherapist Sexual Relationship Coach Internationally read author. Retired Educator

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