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Marriage and the Husband-Wife Relationship/Don't Know if he loves me or we do not even exist.

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Question
I met my husband and shortly after, he told me his ex was pregnant and will be having his baby, he went ahead with our marriage in a registry without meeting any of his family members. He kept saying when the time is right I will meet them. Going forward, he masturbates when I'm beside him, does not talk to his family in my presence, never wants me to relate to anyone nor go out of the house, don't even know the friends he is hanging out with! I try to make him comfortable financial wise and on his part, he can't even sacrifice a penny for me. I don't know what to do because, I have tried so hard to make it work, even whenever I want to talk to him, he dismisses and turns it all to an argument. I'm just sad all the time, I want it to work. We don't have a sexual relationship and I do most of the talking to him. Please help me.

Answer
Hi Adeyinka~

Why do you continue to be with him when he's not acting like a husband?  You shouldn't feel you have to be with him out of obligation.  He's not being the husband you need him to be.  Marriage is about partnership, about a couple working together as a team, and doing things together, talking, working through any problems and issues that arise along the way, being intimate, being supportive and being there for each other.  He's doing none of that for you like he should be.  It seems as though you're the one that's putting forth all the effort here.  That does not a marriage make; when one person is doing all the work, and making sacrifices for their spouse.  

You need to sit down with him and have a serious heart to heart talk with him.  He needs to know how this is affecting you.  And what you're willing and unwilling to put up with in this marriage.  If he can't give you what you want, need, desire, deserve and expect, then perhaps you need to reevaluate this marriage, and if necessary be ready to move on with your life w/o him in it.  And if that means you ultimately have to end up divorcing him, then so be it.  You can't make him change if he refuses to.  You can't make him do something he's either unwilling or unable to do.  Meaning to change his attitude towards you, to pay more attention to you, be intimate with you and the list goes on and on.  You have to start thinking of yourself and of your happiness.  The choice is yours and it's one that only you can make. I hope this helps you some.  

Marriage and the Husband-Wife Relationship

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