Marriage and the Husband-Wife Relationship/Emotional Bonding.


QUESTION: Dear Richard

What could be the reasons my wife couldn't answer when i asked her this question mentioned below ?

Question : Whom do you love the most among the four people ?

a. Your Father b. Your Husband c. Your Brother d. Your Son.

She is playing four roles viz Daughter, Wife, Sister and Mother.

Is this a complex question ?. She is not able to answer me in
spite i have asked her several times.

What could be the reason/s ?

Awaiting your reply,

Thanks & Regards,
Prashant S Akerkar

ANSWER: I think the answer to that question is not singular but is perhaps a more plural perspective.  You may be wanting her to answer in favor of you as her son would most likely want her to answer in his favor and so on.  The reality of her position is not unique but it can be confusing when one specific entity wants a definitive answer.

The simple answer is she loves them all and loves them in different ways that to her create a balance to her emotional needs but to those asking the question they may feel slighted or put off because she is not specific enough when truth be told she is accomplishing exactly what she should be doing, loving, supporting and acting like many women must act, she is balancing the needs of the many around the emotional needs of the self.

Please don't ask her again.  don't presume that because she fails to answer she does not love you when her love is simply different for you than it is for her son or father or sister etc...

instead tell her how much you love her, how much you care and support her...this should give you the answers you need.



---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Dear Richard

Thank you.

As you answered me i will see to it that i will never ask this question to my wife again.

But still the curiosity remains from my side, do you feel the probable reason could be, if she takes one name out of the four, the other three might feel hurt ?

Awaiting your reply,

Thanks & Regards,
Prashant S Akerkar

She most likely loves you all equally but differently and is unable to express those differences, being satisfied with the overall love she has for each.  Be happy with the concept of love and be not dismayed over the individual feelings your wife may have toward one or the other.  She loves equally and most likely with all her being, love to her is her life and she seems not to be a respector of persons especially in relation from one love to another.

Thank you for asking a great question...


Marriage and the Husband-Wife Relationship

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Richard Taylor


After 30 years of marriage and 10 children I can comfortably answer questions about developing or salvaging a strong marriage relationship.


Relationships fail almost exclusively due to individual selfishness or inappropriate activities outside of the marriage contract. Almost any marriage can be salvaged and can flourish. There are exceptions, adultery, abuse and addictions may sever the trust to such an extent that a marriage may not survive.

In addition to my personal experiences I have over 15 years of special education experience with a Masters in special Ed.

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