Marriage and the Husband-Wife Relationship/Emotional Bonding.


QUESTION: Dear Samantha

What could be the reasons my wife couldn't answer when i asked her this question mentioned below ?

Question : Whom do you love the most among the four people ?

a. Your Father b. Your Husband c. Your Brother d. Your Son.

She is playing four roles viz Daughter, Wife, Sister and Mother.

Is this a complex question ?. She is not able to answer me in
spite i have asked her several times.

What could be the reason/s ?

Awaiting your reply,

Thanks & Regards,
Prashant S Akerkar

ANSWER: Hi Prashant~

Maybe she's not answering you b/c she doesn't want to hurt your feelings with her honest answer. It's not really a fair question to ask her.  There are different types of love, loving your brother, sister and father are blood/immediate family; a bond that grows when you're growing up surrounded by parents and siblings.  Then when you grow up you find love, have a family of your own and it's a deeper kind of love that lasts for life (or at least it should).  If that makes any sense whatsoever.  So asking her to choose and pick one person of the four people that should be the closest to you in life, is asking a lot of her.  When you are asked to choose one specific person you love the most, that's like playing favorites, and in the process someone's going to get hurt.  Most likely she's not answering you b/c she can't or doesn't want to choose someone to love more, rather she loves everyone and they are all important to her.  I don't think it's necessarily a complex question, rather an unfair one to ask, and to get her to pick one person over another that she loves equally, but in different ways (and loves each of the individuals for various reasons).  I hope this helps you some.

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Dear Samantha

Thank you.

As you answered me i will see to it that i will never ask this question to my wife again.

But still the curiosity remains from my side, do you feel the probable reason could be, if she takes one name out of the four, the other three might feel hurt ?

Awaiting your reply,

Thanks & Regards,
Prashant S Akerkar

Hi Prashant~

Yes, that would be the most likely reason that she didn't want to answer you.  I'm sure she doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings including yours, with the question that you've asked her. She loves you, her family and your son. So asking her to pick which one she loves more, would be hurtful to her to ask her to pick, and also hurtful to those that you asked her to choose from.  It's completely understandable that you would be curious about this question.  Just know that she loves you and your son and her family a lot, and there should be no comparison ever made between them, b/c she loves you all in different ways.  I hope you didn't feel like I was being too hard on you for asking this question.  Rather I wanted you to see things from her point of view and how this might make her feel when you posed this question to her.  

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