Marriage and the Husband-Wife Relationship/Should I separate from my husband?

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Question
we have been married for 14 years and have two kids-11 and 2. My husband was always been interested in making friends  especially female friends. All this started almost 10 years back when I was unable to understand calls and texts from female friends throughout day and night and his frequent visits when he would come back home early morning. We had fights but as soon as we shifted to another place things became better. He however continued to make more female friends. I tolerated the same believing him that all his girlfriends are just friends he likes to chat. Around 5-6 years back he informed me that he was very excited about making friends with an old friend on a social network site. All was going well until 3 years back I accidentally discovered his love chat with that female and that he is physically involved with her. I also sought help from my in-laws and as expected they started blaming me for everything and supported their son. After an agonizing long year I left him with my kids to stay with my parents and settled myself there. Throughout this year of separation my husband worked very hard to convince me to some back and promised me that I will never have any issue regarding this. After 1 and a half year when he confessed that he has not been in touch with that female for the past 6 months I agreed to come back. Its been around 8 months now that we are together and just last month I discovered he is talking to her daily. For all these months, he leaves us and goes out of station on unofficial trips almost every month. He doesn't stop despite my requests, tears or fights. He refuses to sleep in the same room as I do, we had no sex since last 3 years now and whenever I try to approach the topic he insults me by making faces or by making fun of me. I left my job for him. I don't want to stay with him but it is also tough for me to end this. Please guide.

Answer
Hi Tania,

You are a strong woman and are capable of taking care of your kids. You are left with no choice but to take a firm step and divorce him. Ensure that you ask for heavy alimony/child support. Continuing like this will lead you nowhere. Tomorrow when the kids reach teenage they will share the same stress that their parents don't get along and live like strangers. So this is the right time to make a move.

Regards,

Vani

Marriage and the Husband-Wife Relationship

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Vani

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Marriages are made in heaven! But in love marriages when the two partners belong to different nations, castes, races, social strata, backgrounds, the amount of understanding required is more. I can tackle queries related to love marriages of these kinds. Sorry, I cannot help out on gay and lesbian relationships and am neither a sex therapist nor an astrologer.

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20 years of a blissful married life.

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Masters in Business Administration

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