Marriage and the Husband-Wife Relationship/divorce with unborn baby?


Dear Maria

I am a 34 y old male. 12 years ago I married for the first time, got divorced after 5 years with a little girl who is now 8. My first wife was and still is a manipulative person who used my daughter against me many times to get at me, even though it was she who wanted a divorce to be with her ex-boyfriend (which proved to be a false hope anyway).

I was single for 4 years, then I married again, this time to a girl suggested by my family (my first choice was against their wish). She is 31, engaged to be married once, and has a history of problems within her family which I did not know about at the time, namely her father who was a dominating and irresponsible person in her life. Her fiance turned out to be no better, leaving her stranded for four years before finally calling the marriage off.

As it has turned out, apparently she married me because her father and family kind of forced her to and she accepted also due to my insistence. I have to say I fell in love with her very soon and was very reluctant to let go of her, she seemed such a decent and kind soul. Anyway my ex-wife proved to be a problem in this marriage, taunting her and planning schemes through my daughter to irritate her at every turn. Unfortunately my family augmented this problem by stupidily trying to dominate her by saying my ex-wife was better than her and focusing a lot on my daughter.

So in spite of all the support I did offer her, she has been asking for a divorce for a long time. At first I resisted but when I saw her anxieties were slowly eating her from inside, I agreed. Problem was I could not afford to give her sufficient financial support after the divorce so it was delayed several times and every time I thought she had refrained and come to her senses but I was wrong. In the middle of all this crisis she got pregnant. Now she insists that I let her keep the child but let her go at the same time, so that she could give birth and raise the child alone without him/her ever knowing about the father. I am worried about this child's future in this way, I would prefer an abortion and divorce but I am afraid of the terrible emotional strain and scar this act would have on her, as she loves to have a child (even to the point of wanting to be a single parent in a strange city with no suitable means of income). I dont know what to do. Is an abortion is the way to go? Or should I let her go with the child as she wishes? Please help me as I am at my wits' end...


Dear Mehdi,

Let me answer a very complicated  question and serious situation with a very simple answer...

Let her go.

Abortion is not the answer. It seems you both went into a marriage under duress, and under difficult circumstances, in other words it was not a mutual choice or a "falling in love" situation.

Stop the pain, and let God do his work.

Do something selfless.... for the new life...

Pray, it is the only thing you can do under your control.


Marriage and the Husband-Wife Relationship

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Maria Vento


I am a mother of three, one girl two boys. My first marriage lasted 25 years, married now for one year. I can be a witness for your relationship issues with marriage, divorce,and children, and or health. I can help you understand your situation and try to find a solution for you and your partner. Health issues, cancer ect., Anger, rejection, betrayal. I am a Reiki facilitator, I donate my time to help cancer patients deal with pain management. My perspective to problems or circumstances come from a spiritual place. To help you see purpose and meaning and always approach a situation from a loving place. I speak/write English and Spanish


Reiki I and II facilitator (over 20yrs) Ordained Minister (15 yrs) Hypnosis Therapist- past life regression (10 yrs) Sound Therapist (7yrs)

Gilda's Club for Cancerr Patients Hakensack, NJ

Reiki I and II facilitator (over 20yrs) Ordained Minister (15 yrs) Hypnosis Therapist- past life regression (10 yrs) Sound Therapist (7yrs) Professional singer for over 25 years In college majoring in Journalism

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