Marriage and the Husband-Wife Relationship/Mental Illness in Marriage
My husband tried to kill himself which resulted in him being admitted to the hospital. We have had 1 conversation since then and he said it's all my fault and he does not wish to speak to me. Mind you, his family and possibly his doctors agree with him (I say his doctors only because I would think they would be pushing him to face his issues, not hide behind this excuse.) So could it really be my fault? Now my family and friends vehemently disagree with this, but with so many stacked against me I'm starting to believe I did something wrong or missed something. We have been married for 10 years, we have 2 children and 1 on the way now. Along with the stress of missing my husband and wishing he would speak to me, I am now fighting guilt.
NO! There is no way in hell this is all your fault. He's in denial and will not or is not ready to own up to his part in this. You can't make somebody do something they refuse to do. He plays a huge roll in all this. And although I do not know anything about your situation or what led up to this, it's BS that he would tell you this and to give you a complex and to worry that you were the cause of all this. That's a load of crap if I've ever heard of one. He has to be willing to claim his part in all this. So, my point in all this is, yes, I'm sure that owe some part in this such as arguing, frustration with him, etc. Whatever the deal is. But it's not all solely your fault, no. And in no way should you bear the burden and brunt of this and to be guilt-ridden, no. I really don't know what to say to make you feel better, while you're struggling through all of this.
My husband deals with depression from time to time and it can be a really upsetting and ugly thing. I can relate to you on a certain level though. I'm sorry he's doing this to you and with you dealing with kids, him and a pregnancy to boot, this is a lot for you to cope and deal with right now. Perhaps you need to give him his space for now. And not jump to conclusions and try to deal with this as it comes at you. If you have family and friends that you can talk to and try to support you through all this, then let them support you. That really can make all the difference for you. But, no, don't blame yourself for all this, you can't b/c if you do it'll end up eating you alive and tearing you up inside that much more. Try to work through it and focus on the good things in your life. Hopefully everything will work out and things can and will get better. Hang in there and keep the faith. You can do it!