Marriage and the Husband-Wife Relationship/Should I move to make her happy?


Well basically, my fiancee and I have been together for about 5 years and engaged for about 1. She's originally from Toronto and moved to the states to go to college and has stayed here so far because of me. Lately she's started saying how much she misses home and her family. At first I thought it was just her being homesick after the holidays (which is nothing new and usually passes) but now she is basically flat out saying she wants to move back and she wants me to go with her. She's basically leaving it up to me whether "We" go or not. I've lived in Texas all my life and have never thought of moving anywhere else (especially somewhere 1200 miles away from my friends and family). Then again she's the only woman I've ever loved and after 5 years I can't imagine my life without her. I know it's not right for her to spring this on me but I don't know how to answer her. What should I do?

Hi Don~

It all depends upon if you want to spend the rest of your life with her, and if you feel she's worth moving up there for.  This means you would be required to uproot the only life you've ever known in TX.  And taking a huge risk by moving not only 1200 miles away, but having no family and friends around whatsoever.  So you'd be starting all over from scratch, to be with only her.  Are you ready to make such a huge commitment and taking a huge risk and change for her?  Are you sure the relationship will withstand that?  You'd be completely out of your element and on your own.  What are you back up plans should this end up not working out in the end with her, and a huge move to boot?  These are some things you must consider before even contemplating such a drastic life change for you.  If you think you can live with that decision and you're willing to risk everything, then do it.  If not, and your gut intuition says no, then listen to it and don't do it, if you think you'll end up regretting it.  Go with your heart and do what's right for you and what makes you happy.  You definitely need to tell her you'll seriously think about it, and she should be understanding and give you ample time to think this over.  So that you don't rush into something and have resentment towards her later.  Surely, if she cares enough about you, she will understand where you're coming from.  I hope this helps you.  

Marriage and the Husband-Wife Relationship

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