Marriage and the Husband-Wife Relationship/Query

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Question
I have been married since 3 and half months ago. My wife is well educated and has done her M.sc and persueing her PhD now. But I feel she is kiddish and has not understood the husband-wife relationship.

She keeps quarreling with my mom and my sis for even trivial reasons. She tells that my mom has started fighting with me first and always she will be blaming on my mom and my sis. She will do the work but not completely. She will do pooja at home and all other work. She always forces me to go to her father’s house but due to busy schedule, I could not able to visit her father’s house after marriage even once. She went to ashada for a month and after completion of this ashada, we went to pick her as per the policy.

Then, after 20days, we decided to go to her father’s house and we are about to start to leave our house but she refused to go due to my mom’s words that come early at 6pm tomorrow. My wife told not to my mom not to interfere with us and was rudely behaved with my mom by speaking bad words. On next day, my wife discussed with my sis for general matters but my sis and mom were shouted on my wife. So, my wives angrily called her parents and her parents fighted with us and get her daughter to her house. After going to her house, her mother spreads ours bedroom matters to the entire world. I felt very ashamed of listening those words and about to die by listening those words but I am alive due to my wife and I love her very much. My wife mother is the keymaker to make my wife separated   with all these issues bigger. Now, 2 and half weeks, but still she have not come to our house and scolding to my mom and sis and saying that “I never come to your house” like that and forcing me to make a separate house to me. I explained clearly that quarrels will be there in everyone’s life and this is common matters will be happened in everyone’s life. Even, I clearly told that be patience and come to our house and we will leave happily till our life ends but we should have patience and positive manner. I also told that I cannot make separate house and you have fighted with us and went and you should only come to our house. I am waiting for her till now but she is telling that she never comes to our house and if she wants to come, then I need to make separate house for her. I clearly trying to explaining what is life but she is not ready to accept this.

Only wrong thing I have done is I have not visited once also after our marriage. So, she kept this matter and blaming all of us.

Even though my wife mother spreads our bedroom matters, then also I accepted her and calling my wife to come to our house but she is not listening my words.

I am ready to accept my wife if she comes to our house and leave with our family.

Please suggest proceeding further.

If she comes, then quarrels will be there with my wife, me and my mom with those matters. So, please suggest me how to react if my wife comes to our house.

Answer
Hi Guru,

I assume you live in Ontario, since you have provided that info. If that's the case be careful as laws there are pretty strict. She has made this an ego issue and yes being very immature about it all. I don't think that she will return to your house and if she does, she will make life miserable for you and your family once again. You will have to take a call that do you want to continue this marriage? If yes, you will have to look for another house which could be in the same locality but in a separate building. All your life you will have to balance between your family and her wishes!! So you will have to be firm and take a stand that you will meet your family every weekend etc.

Regards,

Vani  

Marriage and the Husband-Wife Relationship

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Vani

Expertise

Marriages are made in heaven! But in love marriages when the two partners belong to different nations, castes, races, social strata, backgrounds, the amount of understanding required is more. I can tackle queries related to love marriages of these kinds. Sorry, I cannot help out on gay and lesbian relationships and am neither a sex therapist nor an astrologer.

Experience

20 years of a blissful married life.

Education/Credentials
Masters in Business Administration

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