Marriage and the Husband-Wife Relationship/relationship after child-birth
I have written you earlier. It helped me a lot. So I am writing you again. We have got a nine months old baby boy. First child.The problem between us remains almost same when I have written to you some 2-3 years earlier.Ours is love marriage. A long pre-marriage relationship. that is why we generally take each other for granted very easily. But my husband takes me too much easily.He has already established that he is atoo busy fellow. I always have to ask him before planning anything else. But he never asks me. He takes me for granted. Always shouts at me for any small problem, even if the problem is not created by me. It is sometimes terrible.Sometimes his behaviur is so bad that I feel I would not talk to him any more. He wants to see each and every good things in the world in me. Sometimes I feel I would not care him, I shall not care what he says. But it is so difficult for me! With a child the situation is worse now.He shouts for every small problem with the child at me in front of every body. We three stay in a rented house. He didn't even bother to convey me that he has to leave station for his work and usually say in last moment.If i ask him why didn't he tell it earlier because I have to stay with a little baby and I am also workin so I have to plan it separately, he used to answer that he expected that I would ovehear it when he is talking in the phones with his coleages. Is n't this too much?
Can you help?
Yes, I do remember your query and I had advised that the moment you start thinking about your own self, you will fall in love with your own being. The behavior of your husband is becoming unbearable. The only way out now is to put your foot down and take a stand. You will have to toughen up and next time he shouts on you in front of others, in a firm voice tell him that you are his wife and not a subordinate, so he should lower his voice when he talks to you. I know you are being polite because you don't want a direct confrontation. But he is a bully and the more you bow down, more power he will derive. Next time you plan anything whether it's a movie or an outing, keep him off it. You have a child and am sure some friends or cousins or female colleagues, move out with them. You can try and go to parks if your city has one, am sure you will find so many young moms and can become friends with them.