Marriage and the Husband-Wife Relationship/Should I Separate, Temporarily

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My biggest problem is my husband refuses to get a better job.He makes minimum wage and drives to work an hour one way.  He has no insurance or benefits.  YET he refuses to look for work elsewhere.
Let me give you a brief of our beginning, Im 38, has 37. We met about 9 years ago on a job.I was in a relationship, getting out of it and pregnant. I told him we could have a relationship when I got out of my mess And I did that, I left him alone, until I had my affairs in order. He has no children of his own and was living with his mom.We eventually moved together and got married.I also have a 16 year old daughter.(7 at the time).Before I married he he got a felony evading charge. (No drugs or anything x he was scared to pull over because he thought his license was suspended.) Anyway, I married him in spite of the conviction.Both of my children receive child support from their father's.My husband had a good job at a plant, was laid off and received unemployment for two years.He then got this minimum wage job, and will not move.On top of that he doesn't help buy school clothes, Christmas or birthday gifts. But he does spend 190.00 a month on a 70" tv for himself,and 100 on a xbox
This is not the first electronic payment he has had over the years.His car is broke, and he pays on the tv.He battered his art skills for mechanic work-the guy has had the car for a month now. He is so selfish, he will come in the house with food only for himself.Fi I come to him for money, he doesn't have it. BUT, HE expects me to have it when he asks.Last tax year his car broke,his family called expecting me to buy a car for him with my kids tax money.(we file separate-he hasn't filed in over 3 years).  I I have him on my vision insurance at work, he pays nothing for exams or contacts once a year.I just expect him to be a provider, and his being lazy and complacent.Should we tell him to leave until he gets his shot together....if he ever does?

Answer
Hi Jakequlynn~

You need to sit down with him and have a serious heart to heart talk with him.  He needs to know how this is affecting you. And what you're willing and unwilling to put up with in this marriage. It's not fair to you or the rest of the family that he's being selfish and then he expects you to give him money and provide for him when he wants/needs something.  That's ridiculous! He decided to marry you knowing you had children, etc.  He needs to man up and help take care of the family and provide some things to the household.  Otherwise, why is he even there, for convenience or to get a free ride from you b/c he knows you'll put up with his crap. Something has to give here or he needs to go (if you're ready and willing to put him out).  I hope this helps you some.  

Marriage and the Husband-Wife Relationship

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