Marriage and the Husband-Wife Relationship/Confused & Scared


I've been w/ my bf for 10 yrs now.  5 of it in the ARMY, and we traveled all over together.  He moved in w/ me after the ARMY and had issues and kept calling our home "your house".  Last year for his birthday, I had a new title drawn up to include him on it, and he turned me down.  Obviously he has commitment issues, and I'm not asking to get married, but yesterday he told me he bought a house as an investment to rent out.  I'm am crushed.  In the 10 yrs together, and the 5 we've been living together, he as never put in effort or $ in the home we share.  I never pushed it, because I thought he couldn't afford to since he's been in school since he got out of the ARMY.  I asked him if this was him getting his sh$t together so he can move out, but he said it was an investment for 'us'.  If it were for 'us' I should be on the title or at least would've been involved and I am not.  I'm so sad, I don't know what to do next.

Hi Catia-

You have every right to be suspicious of his behavior and of his intentions, this includes your feelings being hurt. Most anyone in your situation would feel all the things you're experiencing right now. Does he have ulterior motives, perhaps, that remains to be seen. He obviously has some reason for doing what he did or otherwise he wouldn't have bought a house just out of the blue. Besides who in the hell buys a house to rent out immediately! His timing sure doesn't add up. I mean if you're going to go to all the trouble to obtain a house as an investment, you might as well live there, at least that's how most people would look at it.

I would strongly suspect that he's up to something; you just have to figure exactly what it is he's up to. I think you need to sit down with him and have a serious heart to heart talk with him. He needs to know how this is affecting you and what you're willing and unwilling to put up with in this relationship. This nonsense has got to stop. He needs to be honest with you on what his plans and intentions are and whether they involve you in his future or not. He owes you some sort of explanation. What will happen in the future with him remains to be seen. So you may have some tough decisions ahead of you in the future that you may have to prepare yourself for. Talk to him and take it from there. I hope this helps you some.

Marriage and the Husband-Wife Relationship

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