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Marriage and the Husband-Wife Relationship/is it ok for my husband to have a girl-friend?


We have been married for over 10 years, I love him, and I feel that he loves me too, however about two years ago he met a lady (she was one of his cutomers) and my husband became friends with her, we went out with her a couple of times, and I felt that he was attracted to her, they started talking on the phone and texting often, I confronted my husband and he just said that they were just friends and that I was very selfish and insecure for not trusting him, I asked him to stop, and he just deleted the contact from his phone, but kept on calling and texting her, she moved out of town, and I  think my husband just got tired of trying to be her friend because she did not respond to him too often.  However I just found out that after over a year, they are talking and texting again.  Am I wrong for feeling betrayed? I know that they have been just friends, but I feel that my husband is attracted to her even if he denies it.  On the other hand I know that if I bring it up with my husband he will tell me that it is unfair that I have a male friend while he is not allowed to have girl-friend.  My friend was a coworker and we still talk about once a week, my husband has met him, and I have never habd any interest in him other than just a friend, I often refer to him as my little brother. What should I do?, is it selfish for me to want my husband to stop talking to his friend?

Hi lil-

Has he given you any reason to distrust him? Has he always been open and honest with you? Those are two questions that you need to ask yourself. Why do you feel he's attracted to her? Are his actions and body language saying otherwise? Is it just something you feel deep down inside and your intuition is saying there's more to what he's admitting to you? If so listen to what your intuition is saying, after all it's there for a reason and that's to tell you if something feels right or if it doesn't. Gut instincts are usually dead on.

From all that you've described she's probably not interested in him like that, unless those feelings have recently changed, but that he might have a crush or some form of attraction to her for whatever reason.  It's most certainly okay for the opposite sex to have good/close friends, however there are boundaries and lines that shouldn't be crossed. Such as it's not okay to constantly be texting and calling each other all the time. It doesn't look good to outsiders looking in and, we'll, it's just plain rude. So, of course, there's no guarantee that would never happen. You can just tell when something's amiss in a relationship between two people.

Try talking to him again and tell him how this is affecting you. He needs to know this is really bothering you. How would he feel if the situation were reversed and you were constantly texting or calling or talking about your close male friend. Most guys would be a bit upset, your situation is no different. Hopefully he'll try to see where you are coming from and you can work this issue out together, and try to keep an open line of communication between you and he. I hope this helps you some.

Marriage and the Husband-Wife Relationship

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