Marriage and the Husband-Wife Relationship/intamacy appreciation feeling lost

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Question
So im goung to start by saying this is the first time I have ever askes a question on line. I am 26 years oldwith a 24 yr old wife. We have two children, 2 & 4 yrs old. We have been living together now for 6 years, and have been married for nearly 4. I work in and out of town alot. And am on call for 6 months of the year. Since children and the start of my current career 5 years ago my social life has dwindled away. I am a tradesman at work, a husband, a father, and mr.mom at home. My sister inlaw and mother inlaw have moved in with us over the past few months causing more of a hard time on me. My problem is I am the man of the house. The only man of the house, expected to do all the "manly" jobs for all the ladies residing here, being the man i do not show much emotion. Right now all I feel is that I give give give, always doing as im told, I dont complain, I just take my orders and go. I very rarely get any appreciation for what I do. And to make things harder, I let my wife go out and do whatever she wants whenever she wants with no questions asked. I love to cuddle and kiss, which to say the least, I dont feel like my wife wants at all, I am lucky if she gives into sex once a month, but regularly (without her knowing) catch her getting herself off. I am not sure what I'm asking I just need help. My work consumes me, my wife is my best friend and only friend but doesnt like discussing these matters, I know my intimacy (not just sex) needs drive her crazy. Im lost and dont know what to do from here. Im head over heals inlove. But am left craving for some sort of praise or affection and of course intimacy

Answer
Hi Ryan~

You need to sit down with her and talk to her in private.  She needs to know how this is affecting you and what you're willing and unwilling to put with in this marriage.  If she's your best friend and confidant then she needs to listen to you and hear you out. You must speak up or she just might assume everything is okay with you when clearly it's not.  You're craving things from your wife that you need.  She may not want to heart it or talk about it, but it's a lot better for her to have her feelings hurt, than for you to be tempted to go out and find someone that will give you what you need in a companion. Now I know she might not want to hear it from you, but she needs to be told this.  I'm not saying that you would ever cheat on her, but this is how situations happen, when a person is unhappy and they feel unwanted, unappreciated, taken advantage of and used by their partner/spouse.  It's just easier to talk to each other and get it out of your system before the temptation arises (and it happens to ppl that never intend on cheating).  I speak from experience and it can ruin a marriage, if you're not able to talk about how you feel to each other.  It's very important to talk things out and to have good communication skills with your spouse.  

Intimacy is very important between a husband and wife.  It lets you know that you feel wanted, attractive, appreciated and the list goes on and on.  Talk to her and hopefully she will hear you out this time.  You're not going to know until you try.  I hope this helps you some.  

Marriage and the Husband-Wife Relationship

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