Marriage and the Husband-Wife Relationship/Sex fantasy

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Question
Hello I'm Kashif.I'm 33 years old married with 27 years old girl.Our marriage was arranged-marriage.We both are happy together.At present I'm living in Australia with my family.Though I am working here for almost 3 years but I brought my wife and son half year ago.By the way,my own country is Pakistan.My wife is educated but very much shy and conservatibe muslim girl.Even she refused to come before my friends.Here I have a best friend named Del who is Australian.Del is so close to me that he visits my home everyday.Del is very friendly.He was trying to make convesations with my wife when he came to my house.But she was too shy.As Del was frequently visiting us and was like a family member so my wife gradully started talk to him.I encouraged Del as I wanted my wife to be more easy and friendly coz she didn't like talking with outsiders or guests.Day by day Del and my wife got a friendly relation.Del is also her best friend now after me.She shares everything what she talks with Del.Now I am having a fantasy to see my wife and Del intimate with one another.I dnt know why but it excites me.When Del is at my home I leave Del and my wife alone and try to see secretly if they are being intimate.They both having a strong friendship but they dnt getting intimate.They talk with one another privately even when I am at home.I dnt mind rather I want that they talk more.I feel excited when they are together.Last saturday it was evening.Del was in my home gossiping with my wife at the kitcen.I was watching tv.Suddenly I went to the kitchen to see them.I found Del and Kanita standing very close.Del was talking with my wife and put his hand on Kanita's backside.She was normal.For the first time I saw Del touching my wife.But it was nothing more.I was so excited that I had sex very good with Kanita.May be one day Del will sleep with my wife and I want it.Now I want to know am I sick that I want such fantasy?But I get aroused by the idea.Pls tell me what should I do?

Answer
Hi Kashif~

It's fine if it's a fantasy and if it stays just that as a fantasy only.  Everyone has fantasies and that doesn't make a person sick or abnormal to think things like this.  However, there is a huge difference than actually doing it physically.  When you bring a third person into a marriage romantically/sexually you're just asking for trouble.  There is jealousy, cheating and the list goes on and on.  So whatever you do, I think I'd keep this little fantasy to myself if I were you.  And if it arouses you and makes your sex life better with your wife then that's okay too.  Keep in mind the difference between reality and fantasy.  Fantasy is normal and it can actually be healthy for a person and relationship.  But there are boundaries that should never be crossed such as physical boundaries.  Never invite another person into your marriage or relationship.  It's not worth all the arguments, fights and drama that it causes, and it ultimately could end up destroying your marriage and even ruining your reputation in public (stuff like that doesn't usually stay secret).  I hope this helps you some.  

Marriage and the Husband-Wife Relationship

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