Marriage and the Husband-Wife Relationship/sick to my stomach


I will start by giving you some background. I married at 18 and have been married for 20yrs. The last 8 have become harder and harder. He was verbally abusive when he drank and started to become physical. He had anger issues. I trained myself not to respond and when i would see him drinking I became sick to my stomach. He would say he didn't love me or that he was cheating then say he did not mean it then next day, that he was trying to get a response out of me. Okay you can see where this is going. About 4 months ago he became physical with me and my children came in when i was on the floor. The next day i filed a restraining order and divorce. Since that time he has been working on his anger and going to aa meeting, sober since incident (four months). He begs me to stop the divorce, shays he loves me and knows he screwed up. Yes I forgot to mention He did cheat by the way. He says he wants his family back desperately. Know hear is the question. Why do I cry went I think about How he is hurting? Two, why can't I let go? three, Yet I feel so sick when he wants to touch me in a romantic way. Can you find romantic love again or does the fact that I feel sick when he touches me mean their is nothing left. And if that is the case why am I so terrified to let go completely. I hope all this makes sense. Sorry about the long story but, i am just so confused.

It does sound like you are very confused and it's difficult to give you some clarity in the context of this forum. I really suggest you go and talk to a counsellor. Explaining to someone else how you feel will get you the clarity you need to move forward.
All the best,

Marriage and the Husband-Wife Relationship

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Liam Naden


I specialise in helping couples save their marriage and rebuild it after major hurts such as an affair. Creating intimacy, removing hurt, dealing with sexual and communication problems. I have two relationship-saver programs and a free podcast which are available from my website and a free report, "The Five Keys to Saving Your Marriage Now" at


Relationship coach with own relationship coaching business. Author of several books on marriage and intimacy. I offer two relationship saving programs: "Stop Your Divorce" and "Save Your Marriage" which have helped many couples save their marriage and rebuild their love and intimacy.

Publications Amazon Kindle: Author of the ""Growing in Love for Life" series of ebooks for saving and strengthening marriage.

Master of Arts (First Class Honors)

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