Marriage and the Husband-Wife Relationship/Jealousy
English is not my first language, so I apologise in advance for any mistakes you may find in this letter.
I'm married to the love of my life and I trust him implicitly. He's a very honest, respectful and trustworthy guy. We've been together for 5 years but we've known each other for 12 years (we dated for 4 years in the past).
Even though I've never heard him make any disrespectful comments about women (I mean, of sexual nature) or give any women a lustful look, I'm still very, very jealous. Just the thought of him lusting after another woman makes me cringe. I know this is utterly ridiculous and I'm very ashamed of feeling this way. My husband feeling sexually attracted to another woman doesn't mean he'll dump me or cheat on me. I know this. I don't even know why exactly it bothers me so much when I picture my husband lusting after beautiful women, actresses, models etc. He's never cheated on me and I don't think he ever would.
Whenever I see a beautiful woman on the street, I'm afraid he'll find her attractive. Whenever there's a beautiful actress on a movie, I kinda feel anxious and pray that this woman will not take off her clothes. It feels like a nightmare, because there are beautiful women everywhere. I know this is insane of me, which is why I never bother him with my jealousy, never.
I went into psychotherapy more than once, I've tried counselling, meditation, exercising, you name it. But nothing and nobody has ever changed the way I feel. I see my girlfriends not being jealous of stupid things like the ones I've mentioned and I envy them.
Could you please help me? How can I overcome this? I mean, I know that going into therapy is important, but I'd like to hear something more "practical".
Thank you so much.
Dear Flavian, you want to hear something more practical......
Jealousy arrives when one looks outside oneself seeing what one feels they lack.....
If you where to see instead yourself in each beautiful woman, all of them being a reflection of you, your jealousy would cease.
Use this perspective to shift your thoughts.... Your thoughts control how yo view things. I guarantee you will be on your way to feeling better,
About yourself and there will be no more jealousy.