Marriage and the Husband-Wife Relationship/Wife not affectionate


Its been more than 6 yrs. of marriage. My wife and I have always been a bit different, but its really difficult in terms of how she becomes if I dont pursue her. She is totally not bothered about my being around, she lives in her own world, which is doing her job, watching her favorite show, spending time with our son and then sleep. I wonder she has any affection for me. When we are in the car and I'm driving, I always try to look at her and speak while she wouldnt even look at me when talking. If I dont initiate a topic she just keeps looking outside and in her own "zone" as if I am one person she is totally not concerned about. The same goes around in house, if I dont initiate a conversation, she doesnt even look. sometimes, i have to tell her that i feel its a bit rude that you dont speak at all. As for physical intimacy, we have had so many arguments because she is never 'ready'. I am fully committed to this relationship and always ready to work my butt off for the family. I never get any appreciation for that either nonetheless, i only get complaints most of the times on what i have not done properly. I am so tired mentally as it feels that i am the only one trying to keep this relationship alive.

Hi there,
      There are several things that can prove very helpful if you want to reawaken your wife's connection to you. Begin by showing her more affection than you are doing now. At first you may feel somewhat awkward doing this primarily because you'll feel as though you're pushing yourself on your spouse. Try not to view it from that place. Instead, see it as a bit of an exercise understanding in her and yourself;by demonstrating extra affection to your wife, she may start to feel more valued by you and also more cherished. If a woman feels these things, any emotional barrier that she may have put up will come crashing down. By kissing her when the opportunity presents itself, rubbing her shoulders more or just reaching for her hand when you two are watching television, you'll be showing her glimpses of what's in your heart. Once she senses that, she'll be more open to reciprocating those actions.
     One of the measures of a strong and connected marriage is how open and honest the communication is between the partners. If you and your wife don't put in a strong effort to discuss your marriage that can certainly contribute to her not wanting to show you the level of affection she once did. Even though you both may lead incredibly full and busy lives, you must take the time to stay connected by communicating with one another. You should take the lead on this and invite your wife out for a nice dinner at a quiet and relaxing restaurant. Use this opportunity to discuss your marriage and anything that may be plaguing either of you. By initiating this, you'll be demonstrating to your wife how highly you value the marriage and her. It will certainly serve as a catalyst for more open dialogue between you two and it will also pave the way for the both of you to get back on the path to the rewarding closeness you've always wanted. Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your wife to feel even more distant from you. You can make your wife fall back in love with you, all over again.

good luck

Marriage and the Husband-Wife Relationship

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Graham Smith ( PhB)B.PHIL


I can help with any question on marriage, based on my 38 years of marriage. I also have two children, and two granddaughters.


38 years of marriage.

I have a bachelor of Philosophy (PhB) from the Liverpool university (UK)

Awards and Honors
bachelor of Philosophy

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