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Marriage and the Husband-Wife Relationship/Marriage difficult after having child


First off, I would like to thank you in advance for any sage advice you may have to offer.
 I am a 44 y/o male,and my wife is 36. We have been married for four years, and have a lovely 21 month old daughter. Since my daughter has been born, it seems like the whole dynamic of our relationship has changed.
  My wife co-sleeps in the nursery room, and has done so since a few weeks after she was born. She continues to co-sleep as our child wakes up often during the night, sometimes to feed. She has some sensory issues related to eating solid food, hence she is still relying heavily on breast milk.
   So basically, we have not shared a bed together for almost 2 years, and also have not had intercourse since birth (my wife has recently started seeing a physical therapist for vaginal spasms which are making sex painful).
    In addition, we have only been out on a date once since birth, as my wife gets anxiety about leaving child with most everyone. She has a very full plate, working part time, taking care of child while I am at work, etc, so I try not to stress her out anymore than she is.
 I just get very frustrated sometimes, and miss my pre-child wife. I do not think there is much I can do except wait until our child gets older and hope something changes.
Sorry for the long email, I just want to give you as much information as possible.


Hi Jason,
Have you tried talking to her? It is important that you make her realise how you feel and that it is having a detrimental effect on your relationship. I would keep using this approach, telling her that there is an issue that you both need to work on to resolve. Be loving but firm and don't have your feelings passed off. Know in your heart that there is a problem and you're not going to stop until you find a solution. But talking to her about it is key.
All the best,

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Liam Naden


I specialise in helping couples save their marriage and rebuild it after major hurts such as an affair. Creating intimacy, removing hurt, dealing with sexual and communication problems. I have two relationship-saver programs and a free podcast which are available from my website and a free report, "The Five Keys to Saving Your Marriage Now" at


Relationship coach with own relationship coaching business. Author of several books on marriage and intimacy. I offer two relationship saving programs: "Stop Your Divorce" and "Save Your Marriage" which have helped many couples save their marriage and rebuild their love and intimacy.

Publications Amazon Kindle: Author of the ""Growing in Love for Life" series of ebooks for saving and strengthening marriage.

Master of Arts (First Class Honors)

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