Marriage and the Husband-Wife Relationship/Sexless Marriage


Am I asking for too much?  

My wife and I have been married for 25 years.  Early in our marriage, she developed a medical condition that makes intercourse painful.  She has seen a number of doctors before having it successfully diagnosed about 10 years ago.  While the treatments have helped, her condition continues to worsen on its own and is now as bad with treatment as it was without.  Further, there are some uncomfortable side effects to the proscribed treatments that leave her feeling bad for days following intercourse.  Stress makes things worse.

As a result, she has become increasingly adverse to sex.  She has given up on any medical improvement and has not received any further treatment in about five years.  Our sex life has totally died.  She attempts sex a couple of times per year but it is obviously a nightmare for her.  

I can understand this and realize that it is not her fault.
However, this is extremely emotionally painful to me.  I have tried to get her to participate in other intimate activities but she is only minimally happier with these.  She says that she is happy to participate but seems to go out of the way to make sure I know that she really is not.  They are infrequent and she is very unresponsive.  

Obviously, I am extremely unhappy and hurt by this.  I have begged her to make changes, to go to marriage counselling, and back to the doctor.  She refuses.  I have found myself getting angrier over the last few years.  We have been fighting a lot.  Any discussion ends with her promising that she will do better but this is just an attempt to hush me.  NOTHING changes, not even temporally!

I love my wife dearly and want to spend the rest of my life with her.  I realize that this is not her fault.  But I am not sure how much longer that I will be able to remain in this marriage if nothing ever changes.  What should I do?

e true goal is to get to the root of the issues and find healing.“Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” (1 Corinthians 7:5 NLT)Fact: Married couples are not designed to go without sex for any long duration of time. God’s word is actually quite clear on this:When one spouse conforms to the sexual standards of the other spouse and the marriage becomes sexless, can it still be called a marriage?

In most situations, the sexual satisfaction in marriage is a measure of the entire relationship. If a once satisfying sex life becomes one in which sex is infrequent or absent, then more than likely there are other aspects of the relationship that a spouse is finding unsatisfying.Although I can't tell anyone who has found themselves in a sexless marriage how to solve the problem, I can suggest they not do as I did. Don't turn yourself inside out trying to fix something you didn't cause.

The frustration, shame and hurt that comes from a marriage that is lacking in physical intimacy due to the asexuality of a spouse can do more than hurt your self-esteem; it can bring on depression, self-loathing and anxiety, not to mention dealing with the conflicted emotions that come along with the knowledge that the person you love doesn't want to "make love
 here is your take-away: If you are a kind, considerate and loving spouse, you are desirable, not in need of change, not doing anything wrong, and most importantly, can't fix a problem if you are not causing the problem.

Father, I ask for help for this couple as they are facing trouble in their union. Father, thank You for Your timely help. Bless this marriage, Lord and fill the couple with Your peace, love and joy. Thank You, Lord. In Jesus' Name. Amen Father, please help this couple with their intimacy in their marriage. Give them both joy and a light hearted spirit to enjoy one another. Touch them both Father and bless their marriage. In Jesus' name.............God, Please enable this couple to have a healthy sex life. Bless their marriage bed. In Jesus' name. Amen  

Marriage and the Husband-Wife Relationship

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I can answer most any questions regarding a husband/wife relationship. Whatever the question may be,no matter the situation. I will try to answer anything you have on your mind about husband-wife relationships, divorce,separation,restoring relationship,drama/issues; adultery,sex,self esteem issues,cheating,abuse etc.I can comfortably answer questions about developing or salvaging a strong marriage relationship.If you just need advice or encouragement I am here to be a blessing to you and yours., communication, listening, anger, verbal abuse,


I have helped people from all over the world and from many different walks of life, cultures, etc.Love birds may decide to marry just in the bloom of infatuation. However, marriage is like a signed contract for commitment. With marriage, love birds are also expected to share certain responsibilities and if they fail to do so, conflicts begin and the family life gets disturbed. This is where marriage counselor plays an important role. Marriage counselor helps the couple resolve their conflicts and saves their relationship which otherwise would have ended up in divorce. Marriage Counselor helps the couple learn their compatibility status and suggests ways for the betterment. A Marriage Counselor should be competent enough to understand the severity of the conflicts between the spouses and he/she must a good knowledge of the ways that would make the matrimonial relationship happy and smooth.I believe that God can heal broken marriages; Understanding what God says about marriage and the covenant promise you made to Him, will help you understand why God will heal your broken marriage. God joined the two of you together and brought it into fruition and said, "it is good" "So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder (separate)". When you married you were joined together (bound) for life, this is God's law.

Marriage Counselor for Friendship Church

Marriage Counselor for Friendship Church Answers

personal experiences Marriage counselor 25 years of marriage I have over 25 years as a counselor for couples experiencing difficulties.

Awards and Honors
bachelor of Philosophy

Past/Present Clients
Creating intimacy, removing hurt, dealing with sexual and communication problems. Life Coaching, Relationship Coaching, Sex Coaching and more

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