Marriage and the Husband-Wife Relationship/old girlfriend
Hi, I asked my husband if he still had feelings for his old girlfriend. He replied that he would always love her but in a caring way. Do you think this is normal or okay? It hurts me that he still cares about another woman. Any thoughts on this. Thanks.
Thank you for your question, it is actually a very common concern among women. What I want to try to explain is the different ways men look at love and how they can actually say they love someone other than their wife but really have the same deep feelings or emotional connection that they currently have with their true love, their wife.
When your husband answered your question he was being truthful and I think that says a lot about his character and ability to be open and honest with you about a deep and abiding memory. but it is only a memory and in most cases unless there is direct evidence that causes you concern about an ongoing relationship, those memories are only past associations, like those of an old friend not seen in years.
He does have a caring attitude about her and that is normal and considerate. Your being threatened by his feelings are also normal but may be somewhat displaced if he is indeed the honest and loving man he is supposed to be.
You should not be hurt but honored that he has enough character to be honest with you and has enough courage to open up to you and in his own way tell you he loves you and only you.
Please keep in mind that the differences in the way men and women communicate often causes great concern when one or the other fails to understand the true meaning of the words used. Men are from Venus, women are from mars, you may want to pick up a copy of that book just so you can both learn to speak the others language.
Thanks again for the question.