Marriage and the Husband-Wife Relationship/Distance


Hello Richard. My fiance and I had just upgraded our mattress from a Queen size to a California King. While I love the new bed, I dislike the distance this has created between us. Since we have upgraded, she no longer wants to snuggle/cuddle. She is content on curling up on her side THE ENTIRE NIGHT! I have told her I want to go back to cuddling and snuggling, but I feel she puts in zero effort to try this. What can I try to fix this?

Thank you Richard.

Thank you for the question.  Let me say something before answering your question.  There seems to be a trend these days of women moving away from the desire to act like women used to act and one of those is the need to cuddle.  Men are often the ones these days that are wanting for what we used to get naturally from our women.  Not sure what to do about that generalization but to answer you direct question, go back to the queen size bed.

The other option is to confront her and ask her directly about the changes.  There seems to be a bit more at play here than a simple change of  bed size.  If she liked cuddle before the bed and doesn't after the bed, it is either that she was forced to with the smaller bed size and she really didn't like it or ....and you will have to find that out.  

my suggestion is to start by moving over to her side of the bed and initiating the cuddling, see what happens.  Give her the space she wants when she wants it but if you move to her side and she cuddles than problem solved.

Good luck and thanks for asking.


Marriage and the Husband-Wife Relationship

All Answers

Answers by Expert:

Ask Experts


Richard Taylor


After 30 years of marriage and 10 children I can comfortably answer questions about developing or salvaging a strong marriage relationship.


Relationships fail almost exclusively due to individual selfishness or inappropriate activities outside of the marriage contract. Almost any marriage can be salvaged and can flourish. There are exceptions, adultery, abuse and addictions may sever the trust to such an extent that a marriage may not survive.

In addition to my personal experiences I have over 15 years of special education experience with a Masters in special Ed.

©2016 All rights reserved.