Marriage and the Husband-Wife Relationship/is my ex wife being unfair?


Please tell me i'm not crazy here??

My wife and i just separated and i have liberal access to my 4 children. I have moved out, found my own place and I'm currently unemployed.

My ex currently attends college Monday-Friday from 8am-2pm. Because i do not work, she expects me to come to her house and babysit the two younger kids, while she attends school. I do not mind helping her out once and awhile, as it allows me to spend time with my kids and it shows her that i'm not a complete heartless person.

The problem is, i have already babysat twice in one week and ive only been out of the house for 2 weeks. It is currently Wednesday and she calls me this morning and wants me to babysit thursday and friday. I told her  i will see, but probably not. Then she gets all mad, and says "SHES DONE WITH ME" . wtf!! like how is that fair to me??? because i say no i can't or don't want to??

Nowhere does it say that i have to babysit. She is the one that kicked me out, she is the one that doesnt love me anymore, but "hey can you babysit for me"?? I think its just a bunch of BS!! and she is being totally unfair to me.

To make things even worse, after only a week of me moving out, she went ahead and found another guy. She says they are just friends and getting to know each other. But whatever they are, and its her life now, it doesn't sit well with me.

I know i'm no Prince and thats obvious because we arent together anymore, but why should i be expected to help her out, especially since she kicked me out?

please tell me i have a good argument here and not loosing my mind?

Hi Adam-

No, you're not losing your mind or being unfair to her. She kicked you out and therefore it's her responsibility to find a reliable babysitter for the children. But by the same token you should help her within reason, just don't let her use you or she will.

You can always politely decline her request to babysit the children. Make an excuse that you're busy looking for a job, settling in, or doing whatever. You don't really owe her an explanation for anything now that your on your own and doing your own thing. You are under no obligation to do anything for her, unless there is a court order stating otherwise.

Live your life and help out with the children on your terms. If she wants you to watch them do it at your apartment not at her house and require that she give you some form of payment and that she also provide necessities for them.

Stand your ground and don't let her use you or take advantage of you. Take care and spend time with the children as much as you can. Make sure you stay an active part of their lives so she can't say that you weren't involved. I hope this helps you some.

Marriage and the Husband-Wife Relationship

All Answers

Answers by Expert:

Ask Experts




I can answer most any questions regarding a husband/wife relationship. Whatever the question may be. I would like to help you find an answer to it. If you want an honest and unbiased opinion on things then ask away. I am a divorced mother of 4 children, I have been a single mother, and I'm currently remarried and have a 4th daughter with my husband. I know what it is like to have a spouse cheat on you, to be taken advantage of, to feel like everything is hopeless (being depressed), emotions (the up`s and down`s). I will try to answer anything you have on your mind about husband-wife relationships, divorce, adultery, etc. Please don`t hesitate to ask.


I've been answering questions and helping my clients for the last 10 years. I have many satisfied and return clients. I have helped people from all over the world and from many different walks of life, cultures, etc.


Past/Present Clients
I have/had many repeats clients though the years I've been a volunteer here.

©2017 All rights reserved.

[an error occurred while processing this directive]