Marriage and the Husband-Wife Relationship/What's More Important?


My wife, Steph(25) and I(25) have been married for 2 years of our 7 year relationship, we have a daughter in her toddler years. Here is the issue. She wants to move to North Carolina, about 2,000 miles away from where we are now. Okay, now a little background. My wife and I work in the same field she has worked for 7 years at the same job and hates it. I love my job, and have worked at the same place for 10 years. Currently I make about $60,000/yr, Steph makes about $15,000, she works part-time for spending and saving money. The reason she wants to move is her family is in NC, and I mean her entire family: Dad, Step-mom, Brother, Aunt, etc. She moved out here with her bio-mom 10 years ago though a divorce. I only have my mom alive here. I do love her and want to support her, but it scares me to move so far away without guaranteed employment, or at least unemployment with a pay cut. I don't want to have to start over with our lives, when we first met we were broke! It took a long time to finally get comfortable, but given the fact our daughter isn't in school and we have no debt, it seems like it would be a fairly easy time to go. NC is a lot cheaper than where we live now, so I wouldn't need to make as much, but i'm still worried. Should I or would you, give up a very good job and risk it all for family? What's more important, financial security or emotional well-being?

I'm answering this question on my phone so please excuse any typos.
The short answer is emotional well being.  

Let me suggest that you negotiate a time period toward moving, that would give you the time to prepare toward a move, housing and employment.
It's very important to create a positive foundation prior to moving but at the same time provide a level of assurance for your wife.

Perhaps a six month goal with the possibility of an earlier move if established goals are met.

All the best.


Marriage and the Husband-Wife Relationship

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Richard Taylor


After 30 years of marriage and 10 children I can comfortably answer questions about developing or salvaging a strong marriage relationship.


Relationships fail almost exclusively due to individual selfishness or inappropriate activities outside of the marriage contract. Almost any marriage can be salvaged and can flourish. There are exceptions, adultery, abuse and addictions may sever the trust to such an extent that a marriage may not survive.

In addition to my personal experiences I have over 15 years of special education experience with a Masters in special Ed.

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