Marriage and the Husband-Wife Relationship/Does money or family = happiness


My wife, Steph(25) and I(25) have been married for 2 years of our 7 year relationship, we have a daughter in her toddler years. Here is the issue. She wants to move to North Carolina, about 2,000 miles away from where we are now. Okay, now a little background. My wife and I work in the same field she has worked for 7 years at the same job and hates it. I love my job, and have worked at the same place for 10 years. Currently I make about $60,000/yr, Steph makes about $15,000, she works part-time for spending and saving money. The reason she wants to move is her family is in NC, and I mean her entire family: Dad, Step-mom, Brother, Aunt, etc. She moved out here with her bio-mom 10 years ago though a divorce. I only have my mom alive here. I do love her and want to support her, but it scares me to move so far away without guaranteed employment, or at least unemployment with a pay cut. I don't want to have to start over with our lives, when we first met we were broke! It took a long time to finally get comfortable, but given the fact our daughter isn't in school and we have no debt, it seems like it would be a fairly easy time to go. NC is a lot cheaper than where we live now, so I wouldn't need to make as much, but i'm still worried. Should I or would you, give up a very good job and risk it all for family? What's more important, financial security or emotional well-being?

Well, our whole life revolves around money, but our health, mental and physical is equally important. You and your wife have to talk about this very important issue. The pros and cons have to be looked at.  You say money might not be an issue as it is cheaper than than where you are now; but other issues have to be addressed too.  I advise that you both should write down all the pros and cons and weigh them up. The issues with money and happiness are very closely linked and are almost the bedrock of every marriage and, and if truth be told, everyone's life story. It's not easy to make a decision based on money and happiness because as I said, the two are linked. Some people may make decisions based on love of the other person's needs, but this has to be open and understood by you and your family. So, the only advice I can give is for you both to discuss your requirements for the next step of your marriage remembering of course there are two of you. Possible comprises might have to be agreed.  I wish you both well and good luck for the future.

Marriage and the Husband-Wife Relationship

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Graham Smith ( PhB)B.PHIL


I can help with any question on marriage, based on my 38 years of marriage. I also have two children, and two granddaughters.


38 years of marriage.

I have a bachelor of Philosophy (PhB) from the Liverpool university (UK)

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bachelor of Philosophy

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