Marriage and the Husband-Wife Relationship/Distrust


My marriage is just over a year. I noticed my husband & i have not been so close like we used to before we got married. He gets home really late due to his job. When he gets home, he holds his phone and chats till past 12 midnight while I am asleep. I decided to check his phone and realized he chats with his lady colleague in the office. I asked him about it when it was more frequent that he even eats her food and longs for it, his response was- you are in no competition with her, you still hold the aces. We settled and moved on. it reoccurred again, this time the lady was addressing him as bae, boo, we argued and he didn't sleep on our bed for the first time blaming me for having a doubt on our love. We settled it too. So to be a better wife, i wait for him to get back, we chat and go to bed together. I also set boundaries that no phone chats when he's home to have our privacy. Just yesterday that i was not feeling too well, he called and said i should go to bed before he gets back. So i did and i woke up in the night. Checked his phone and realized he chat with the same lady till past 12 midnight. Infact, he had deleted their previous chat. All i saw is the lady's response that he should go to bed which he has not read.

Sorry my answer is so late. If I were writing now to your husband, I would be writing differently, because what he is doing is wrong.

But since I am writing to you and not to him all I can say is that you should not trust him. Even if he apologizes and promises to be good, you cannot trust him because he thinks that what he's doing IS good.  He sees nothing wrong with it.

So, what can you do?  Pray. Mention it to friends of his that perhaps can give him some peer pressure to get him back on the right road. And also pray. And then pray some more.

Marriage and the Husband-Wife Relationship

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I can answer questions about the sacrament of matrimony from a Catholic perspective.


I used to have religious vows and I was preparing for the priesthood when I was told my vocation is to the married state. I received the holy sacrament of matrimony in the Catholic Church 15 years ago.

I went to Catholic High School and then after a two year novitiate, I professed vows in a religious order. I was later told my vocation is in the married state. I've been married now since 1995.

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