Marriage and the Husband-Wife Relationship/It's like he doesn't even like me..


My husband and I have been together 3 years, in the beginning he showed me so much attention and affection, I knew logically that some of that would decline but I feel as though after we got married it all came to a screeching holt. He has been working odd hours over the past two years either waking up at 4am or 2:30 am. He blames his uninterest in me on his being sleepy or having a headache. We have sex maybe 1x per week.. Maybe.. He isn't even nice to me when he speaks to me most of the time. He snaps when I ask simple questions and rolls his eyes when I attempt conversation. I have told him how I feel many times in a very soft and unnacusing tone but he just says he's stressed from work or we don't have enough money or he's tired. This is becoming too much to deal with on a daily basis. I got married to enjoy my spouse. To have friendly conversation about ANYTHING. The thing that breaks my heart the most is that he can always seem to rustle up enough energy for our two yr old daughter. He smiles and is playful with her. I try offering him coffee, a back rub, food, anything to make him warm up to me but nothing seems to work. Every now and then he will listen to me when he sees me crying and then he will change his behavior for a week and then go back to how he was. I don't know what to do. Please help.

Hi Imani,
Clearly your husband's work hours and pressure have a lot to do with this. My suggestion is that next time he changes his behaviour you have a talk with him about what you can do to change your situation. Explain to him that you simply don't see how you are living as either worth it or fair on any of you (including your daughter) and that you need to come up with a solution. It may be changing his job for better work hours and less stress (and before he or you say that's not possible, you have to believe that it IS possible and be committed to finding the solution).
Be persistent and constructive in seeking change and of course don't blame him. Tell him how much you appreciate what he is doing, but that you would like to help find a way for you all to be happy again.
I hope this helps.
All the best,

Marriage and the Husband-Wife Relationship

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Liam Naden


I specialise in helping couples save their marriage and rebuild it after major hurts such as an affair. Creating intimacy, removing hurt, dealing with sexual and communication problems. I have two relationship-saver programs and a free podcast which are available from my website and a free report, "The Five Keys to Saving Your Marriage Now" at


Relationship coach with own relationship coaching business. Author of several books on marriage and intimacy. I offer two relationship saving programs: "Stop Your Divorce" and "Save Your Marriage" which have helped many couples save their marriage and rebuild their love and intimacy.

Publications Amazon Kindle: Author of the ""Growing in Love for Life" series of ebooks for saving and strengthening marriage.

Master of Arts (First Class Honors)

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