Marriage and the Husband-Wife Relationship/Wife is done with our marriage

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Hi Deb
My wife if ten years has decided to end our marriage after finding porn links on my phone. I admitted to having had a problem and am starting counselling soon. I stopped looking at it and my wife kniws how remorsful I am but has had enough and feels dead inside and no longer loves me. Dhe has filed for divorce and is planning to move on. She wants me out of our home and to sell up. I think she had had enough for a long time. I just didn't see the damage the porn was doing and how neglectful of my wife I had become. She says she needs time to grieve the loss of the marriage, that we couldn't carry on the way we were and that finding what she did has given her the freedim to move on and be happy. We have two young daughters and have joint mortgage. We have so much to loose and my wife is now on anti depressants  and is having panic attacks because she is frightened of the future. This all happened 2 weeks ago. I am devastated but she won't listen to me and isn't interested in counselling or saving the marriage. Is there anything I can do to save the family?

Answer
“Divorce is more painful than death,” a woman told me, “because it's never really over.” .... journey towards saving your marriage, even if you have to try to do it alone.]When Sexual Addiction Invades Your Marriage -Over the past few years I’ve heard many heartbreaking stories from wives who have learned about their husband’s secret sexual lives. This discovery, or its disclosure, is what I refer to as blackout. It’s like sitting in a friendly, familiar room and suddenly having all the lights go out. The familiar surroundings take an unfamiliar form. Well-known objects become obstacles that trip us up. Fear shrouds us as we grope in the dark, searching for something to orient ourselves by. This self-gratification conditions men to experience sex in isolation, moving them into what I call “the world of me.” the devastation a wife feels when she realizes the most intimate area of her heart has been betrayed.The result for the wife is like candle flames being snuffed out one at a time, as he discloses or she discovers more and more information. But, in a diabolic twist of irony, a partial confession turns out to be worse than none at all. Husbands must confess everything in order for real healing to begin. Lies of omission are still dishonest even if well intentioned. Anything left in the darkness leaves a noose the Enemy can tighten at the opportune moment. Inevitably the rest of the story comes out later, increasing the wife’s pain and making blackout complete.== God can do anything.  Saying He can’t save your marriage because there is to much pain, means that you are putting limits to God’s provision and His love for us.  And my friend, nothing could be further from the truth.  He didn’t send His Son to die and save His bridegroom for the fun of it, He did it because He loves you and me and He wanted to save us at any cost.  And the same goes for your marriage.  He can and will save your marriage, IF we allow Him too.It does not matter what has happened, what has not happened, whether it be adultery, lying, or money just to name a few.  There is nothing that His grace and mercy can’t cover. Jeremiah 29:11 says this, I have plans not to harm you, but rather plans for you to prosper”. That promise holds true for you too!The Key

Here is the key.  Both parties have to be willing to try.  Just try!   You have tried it on your own and it failed, so before you call it quits, just try this one last thing.  I promise, you won’t regret it.  GIVE IT ALL TO GOD! Both of you, get on your knees and cry out to God and ask Him to heal your marriage.  Ask Him to forgive you both, ask Him to help you forgive each other, and ask Him for His promises to be fulfilled in your life and in your marriage.  Will it be hard?  Yes!  But each time you think it is getting to hard, proclaim His promises in His Word out loud and ask Him to give you the strength.  If you are willing to put down your pride, and pick up your cross, you will be transformed… not restored, but transformed!  That is a promise!Prayer: Father, I come to you today and ask you for forgiveness Lord.  I need your help.  I need my marriage to be transformed like only you can.  Lord, I pray that you will give me the strength to try your way.  I pray that your spirit will guide not only me, but my spouse as well.  Father, I am asking you for you promise on my marriage and for you not only to save it, but transform it by the power of your healing hand.  Amen!God can absolutely save a marriage!  

Marriage and the Husband-Wife Relationship

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Deb

Expertise

I can answer most any questions regarding a husband/wife relationship. Whatever the question may be,no matter the situation. I will try to answer anything you have on your mind about husband-wife relationships, divorce,separation,restoring relationship,drama/issues; adultery,sex,self esteem issues,cheating,abuse etc.I can comfortably answer questions about developing or salvaging a strong marriage relationship.If you just need advice or encouragement I am here to be a blessing to you and yours., communication, listening, anger, verbal abuse,

Experience

I have helped people from all over the world and from many different walks of life, cultures, etc.Love birds may decide to marry just in the bloom of infatuation. However, marriage is like a signed contract for commitment. With marriage, love birds are also expected to share certain responsibilities and if they fail to do so, conflicts begin and the family life gets disturbed. This is where marriage counselor plays an important role. Marriage counselor helps the couple resolve their conflicts and saves their relationship which otherwise would have ended up in divorce. Marriage Counselor helps the couple learn their compatibility status and suggests ways for the betterment. A Marriage Counselor should be competent enough to understand the severity of the conflicts between the spouses and he/she must a good knowledge of the ways that would make the matrimonial relationship happy and smooth.I believe that God can heal broken marriages; Understanding what God says about marriage and the covenant promise you made to Him, will help you understand why God will heal your broken marriage. God joined the two of you together and brought it into fruition and said, "it is good" "So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder (separate)". When you married you were joined together (bound) for life, this is God's law.

Organizations
Marriage Counselor for Friendship Church

Publications
Marriage Counselor for Friendship Church Answers

Education/Credentials
personal experiences Marriage counselor 25 years of marriage I have over 25 years as a counselor for couples experiencing difficulties.

Awards and Honors
bachelor of Philosophy

Past/Present Clients
Creating intimacy, removing hurt, dealing with sexual and communication problems. Life Coaching, Relationship Coaching, Sex Coaching and more

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