Expert: Dick Richardson - 8/9/2001

Question
I am female, 22 years old, I have been smoking for seven years, I am a middle school teacher, I smoke about 1 1/2 packs a day.

I need advice. I have tried several times to stop smoking. When I had my daughter I quit cold turkey from the moment I found out I was pregnant until I stopped nursing, about one year in total. My biggest problem is that I never (even pregnant)stopped craving a smoke. Another problem is that as soon as I stop smoking I gain weight (I am already clinically obese). Finally , my siblings (I live at home with them) both smoke, as do their friends that are always visiting. What can I do?
Thank You.                            Karen

Answer
It is an easy answer and a hard do .. take control of your life, from all aspects.

You will always crave a cigarette whether actively smoking or "pausing" the habit as long as you want to smoke more than you don't want to smoke. When you stopped smoking a year when pregnant you stopped for reasons not your own. You wanted to protect your baby, which is good obviously but you "paused" for the benefit of another person.

I have a clinically obese 42 year old daughter who has "I can't" most of her life. Today she is on the road to a normal weight because she finally decided that she wants a different life after all these years. She set out and did the reading of books and internet articles to find out why she was "different" than most folks and came to realize her body and mind was a bit different than most folks. In her reading she quit blaming herself and just decided to play the cards dealt her and the cards said "hey I have to eat different than most folks if I am unhappy with my weight". She is not home yet, but she is a changed person on the road to recovery. She is more confident, outgoing and totally engaged probably for the first time in 20 years.

What does the above have to do with you being able to quit smoking? You have to find "your" reason, and absolutely no one else's reason, for wanting to stop smoking. Once you communicate that reason (if you find it) to your sub-conscious you will want to "not smoke" instead of "smoke". You will have to whip the nicotine addiction but you will do whatever it takes to get over the addiction because you "absolutely, positively never want another cigarette in your life".

The reason has to come from you and it must be your reason and no one else's. I repeated myself because you must understand that while you may "pause" you will never "quit" until "you" find "your" reason.

I smoked and "paused" for 23 years and since the day I found "my reason" I have never had nor wanted another cigarette. My last cigarette was smoked two weeks after finding "my reason", 23 years ago.

Thanks for hearing me out and I wish you the best. God bless and should you want to engage more on the subject of cigarettes or weight, please feel free to contact me at "teachlove.org". Dick Richardson