AboutShea Expertise Hi. It is my desire to help rape survivors find answers to those longing questions that haunt every victim of rape. Why did this happen to me? How can I survive this experience? Who really cares? Being a victim of rape often leaves one feeling alone, angry and full of fear. Please know that there are people that care. I care. My heart goes out to anyone that is having to deal with the shame and fear that is part of rape. Just remember, you are not alone. I am here to answer questions, seek solutions, or just be a listening ear. I am here to offer friendship and hope in the midst of a very lonely place.
Experience I am a survivor. I was sexually abused as a child and also as an adult. I was sexually abused by both men and women, which left me very confused. I went into counseling 6 years ago with no hope. I was confused about my sexual orientation, struggled with sexual addictions, and self mutilation. Six years later I consider myself a conqueror. I am now happily married and have found hope. My husband and I have a ministry that deals with sexual abuse, same-sex attraction, and sexual addiction. We currently offer one on one counseling and group therapy for these issues. We are also in search of a Safe House for our ministry. This Safe House would be place where individuals seeking freedom from these situations could go and receive safety and counseling.
Organizations www.shadowofhiswingsministry.com
Education/Credentials I am currently in school to finish up my degree in psychology. I work along side my husband who is an LPC Supervisor. Together we provide counseling and group therapy. I am currently deciding which direction to go with my education. Life experience has been my greatest education and I believe anyone can take these experiences and learn more than any college or university can teach.
Expert: Shea Date: 5/14/2008 Subject: Raped 2 weeks ago
Question I was raped 2 weeks ago by one of my ex-s. He broke into my home and forced me down and told me he would kill me if I ever told anyone. Now I'm trying to hide and push it back in my mind like it never happened. But I can't, it is eating me up inside and no one understands. everyone says i'm being extremely rude and mean and i don't talk to many ppl.I usually try to hide so ppl are not always asking me if i'm ok, or whats wrong. i don't know how to deal with this at all. its killing me. really i don't even care about anything anymore. I want ppl to understand why i act like I do but i don't want ppl to know what happened to me. I feel so dirty and ashamed that i liet this happen to me. Please tell me how long is it gonna take for me get over this and be able to not think about it anymore.
Answer Dear Teresa,
I am sorry that you were raped and I am here to tell you that you did not let it happen to you. It happened by force and you were put in a place of fear for your life that made matters worse. You are experiencing post-traumatic stress disorder which is a feeling like you have to watch your every move, flashbacks of the event, afraid of everything around every corner, irritability, and sadness. You really need to go to a rape crisis center, a counselor, a church that has a counseling center that deals with rape, or somewhere. The longer you keep it to yourself the harder it is to make it go away. That is why you are not being very successful in your attempts to stop thinking about it. It, the rape, won't let you stop thinking about it because it hurt you deeply. If you were hit by a car, you wouldn't walk around with a broken arm saying you just want it to go away, you would go and get it fixed so you could heal. Rape is very similar, it just may not leave any bruises or broken bones on the outside, but a broken heart and soul on the inside. Please get help. It was not your fault it was the rapist's fault. That is why you are acting differently because your heart is hurting and your spirit is broken because of the rape. Don't blame yourself, just seek out someone to talk to about it. The act of rape is hurtful and damaging and it makes you feel dirty, but YOU are not dirty. I hope this helps.
Lee and Shea
